If you commit a crime
Don’t record it on your phone
Because Siri’s always watching
Even though you are alone
And in court she’ll testify
And show you she means business
Because if Siri’s anything
She’s a certified iWitness.
Tag Archives: Puns
Geolo-Gee Whiz!
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery
But I’m not sure about that though;
In my opinion, the highest form of flattery
Would have to be a plateau.
Filed under Poems
If This Hawaiian Poem Makes You Laugh A Little, Is It A Low Ha?
There once was cowie from Maui
Who visited Kauai. How he
Got there we don’t know
But he was impressed, so
He exclaimed to all “Wowie zowie!”
Filed under Poems
Island’ed On Another Pun
One time I went to Hawaii
And I let out a heavy sighii
‘Cause it’s very hot in paradise
And aloha temperature would be nice.
Filed under Poems
After A While, You Take What Puns You Can Get
There once was a plant from Japan
That had varicose veins and went snap. An
Evening I glanced it
And it unzipped my pants. It
Turns out it was a veinous fly trap.
Filed under Poems
A Lonely Knight
I showed up to a young singles event
In plate armor head-to-toe,
But the organizers said I looked Middle Aged
And so I had to go.
Filed under Poems
Betting On A Diamond
You couldn’t love a gambling man,
A pal who plays the odds,
Who shakes the dice and throws a wrench
In the plans of man and Gods.
You said you’d never take a chance
On a poker-faced son
But I’d bet if you took a chance
You’d find me pretty fun.
You used to ace your math exams.
You were the queen of school
But the odds weren’t in your favor
With Jack, the king of cool.
Jack would have told you “yes, of course”
If you asked him to dance
But no-go there! You didn’t dare
To take this simple chance.
So Jack’s bad luck’s my inside straight
So let me take the shot:
If you give me your hand of fate
You may just win a lot.
Filed under Poems
English Joke Because I Have To Get Up At 5:00 Tomorrow
Joe said “I have will gone to the pier.”
Bo said “It just got two tense in here.”
Filed under Poems
Get It? Cause One’s Glad And One’s… Oh, Nevermind
Some people were happy to fight
In the colosseum’s spotlight.
They were called gladiators, it’s said.
Some of them had freakin’ laser beams
And were greeted by all the young ladies’ screams;
They were called Rad-iators instead.
Filed under Poems
The Woke Agenda’s Fatal Flaw
One of the problems with globalism
Is that some Scandinavian guy named Anders
Is going to meet a muslim guy named Salaam
And a third party will greet them both
By shouting “Salaam, Anders!”
And some guy terrified of reptiles
Will sue for emotional damages.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 