I used a plastic straw
At one point in my life
Which means I’ll never have a job,
A home, a car, a wife.
I’ll die reviled and alone
And someone will steal my kidney.
I only hope enough turtles live
To guide Marlin to Nemo in Sydney.
Tag Archives: Regret
Not Really… #YOLO
Thirty-six hours in the hospital
And $17,000 dollars later
I regret my Halloween in Florida
And bobbing for that gator…
Filed under Poems
An Excerpt From Baltimore’s “Most Popular Baby Names”
I really don’t think I shoulda
Named my child Barracuda.
At first I thought I’d go with Sid,”
And now I wish did,
But when I named him I was living in the hood-a.
Filed under Poems
Possible Political Folly = Guaranteed Comic Gold
So many nights I spent
Uninspired in my bed
Staring at the blinking cursor
With pages empty as my head.
The night after the election
So many topical jokes did flow
Which, hilarious as they might have been,
Of them the world can’t know.
A literal pot of gold
In my conciousness did lie
On the bright side much humor’s to come
Thanks to America’s choice. Bye bye!
Filed under Poems
Economics Doesn’t Seem Like Such A Smart Path Of Study Now, Does It?
She looks at me with longing.
I see only snakes.
For a moment our eyes meet
Before I turn to stone,
Having time only to think
“Why didn’t I major in Greek Mythology?”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 