Tag Archives: Regret

Millennial Regrets

I used a plastic straw

At one point in my life

Which means I’ll never have a job,

A home, a car, a wife.

I’ll die reviled and alone

And someone will steal my kidney.

I only hope enough turtles live

To guide Marlin to Nemo in Sydney.

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Not Really… #YOLO

Thirty-six hours in the hospital

And $17,000 dollars later

I regret my Halloween in Florida

And bobbing for that gator…

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An Excerpt From Baltimore’s “Most Popular Baby Names”

I really don’t think I shoulda

Named my child Barracuda.

At first I thought I’d go with Sid,”

And now I wish did,

But when I named him I was living in the hood-a.

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Possible Political Folly = Guaranteed Comic Gold

So many nights I spent

Uninspired in my bed

Staring at the blinking cursor

With pages empty as my head.

The night after the election

So many topical jokes did flow

Which, hilarious as they might have been,

Of them the world can’t know.

A literal pot of gold

In my conciousness did lie

On the bright side much humor’s to come

Thanks to America’s choice. Bye bye!

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Economics Doesn’t Seem Like Such A Smart Path Of Study Now, Does It?

She looks at me with longing.

I see only snakes.

For a moment our eyes meet

Before I turn to stone,

Having time only to think

“Why didn’t I major in Greek Mythology?”

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