Tag Archives: Short

Why Has No One Mentioned This Unsung Hero Yet? Conspiracy!

Amidst the “What the heck?s”

About kneeling for anthems and necks

One man has consistently stood tall:

That man is Neil Diamond,

Who protested against crime and

Didn’t change his name to “Stand.” That’s all.

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Bugging Out

There once were a fly and a flea

Who were healthy and lived in a tree,

Then they flew in a flue

And contracted the flu

And decided to, from the flue, flee.

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Strong Feelings Abound

I wrote a knock-knock joke

And put it on my page

But no one wrote to ask “Who’s there?”

Thus: My impotent rage.

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When You Have A Punchline But It’s Four Syllables Long…

Step one: Be God’s son

Step two: Write on stone tablets

And Step three: Prophet!

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[Insert That One Guy Here]

His heart was as big as a pop-up ad

On a movie you watch on your phone.

His mind was as big as the X in the corner

That tells it to leave you alone.

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What Happens When I Get Less Than 14 Hours Of Sleep

Today I am sleepy.

Tomorrow I’m somnolent.

Many already realized

This poem won’t rhyme.

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No Joke!

Moreso than drugs or heart disease,

Moreso than any tumor,

Most tragedies in life are caused

By lacking a sense of humor.

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My Date Went Okay

I said, “Girl, you are fine.”

She said, “Boy, you’re adequate.”

After that things went alright

And basically, well, that was it.

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Well, That Escalated Quickly…

If someone stomps a snail to death,

Then snails burn down a city,

Why is that conducive to

Making people think snails aren’t shitty?

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When Cops Steal Your Pets (At Least You Still Have Your Family)

I got licked by a dog,

Then I got licked by a cat,

Then I got licked by my uncle

But the Feds put an end to that.

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