Tag Archives: Short

Three Poems On The Mysteries Of Love

If I had a pickle

For every time you smile

I’d be decorating sandwiches

For a sufficient while.

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As the birds sing in the morning

And the bugs crawl in the night

So too doth my heart yearneth

When you say “Meh, you’re alright…”

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I picked the petals from the flower:

“She loves me, she loves me not…”

But I misread the directions

Turns out it was flour I bought.

As I sift through every grain

I frown and then I smile.

I’m getting a great workout

But the results will take a while.

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I Put Zero Effort Into This Poem, And So Should You

It’s Christmas day!

It’s Christmas! Yay!

There are better things to do today

Than read this blog, so go away!

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December 23rd Urd Urd…

‘Twas the night before the night before Christmas

And all through the all through the house

Everyone was everyone was wondering

“Why the **** is everything echoey?”

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But You Have To Pour The Milk First

One day at breakfast I asked my niece

“What if a bowl of cereal were all just one piece?”

My niece said, “I don’t mean to boast

“But I invented that cereal. I call it ‘Toast.’”

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Koala Bear Care, But Human Clean Poo Man?

Somewhere in Australia

A koala has a baby,

And when that baby takes a poo

In public, then just maybe

Koala mommy and her cub

In a public restroom hide

And clean up on a table

With a human on the side…

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When You Speak To A Chihuahua Without A Stupid Accent…

“You’re a good boy! Yes you are!”

They said and pulled me to the car.

But they didn’t use a cutesy voice

So I killed them (I had no choice).

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Florida Man Saves Music

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand

And asked “Do you have any grapes?”

The lemonade seller shot dead the duck feller

Which proves not all heroes wear capes.

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One Animal That Won’t Let You Down

See you later alligator.

In a while crocodile.

Time to vamoose you silly goose.

Sayonara capybara.

All these partings for a beast

Didn’t matter in the least

To the all-knowing, ever-present

“Never gonna give you up” pheasant.

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The REAL Home Office

If, instead of cubicles,

We gave all employees

Their own private bathroom

And a set of private keys

So they could sit on porc’lain throne

And work at the same time

Productivity would go up

By a factor of eight or nine.

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I Hope This Limerick Ages Horribly

There once was a bat from Wuhan

Who bad people did some work on.

It got fed up one day

And just flew away

And just like that two years are gone!

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