Tag Archives: Short

Oh Yeah, I Went There

Life gave one guy lemons

And life gave the next guy a kid.

The first guy made some lemonade.

You don’t wanna know what the second guy did…

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The Streak Continues

There once was a poet, demonic

Whose short, four-line poems were chronic.

‘Twas evening again

And the poet did pen,

To be contrary, this lim’rick ironic.

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When You’ve Only Written Crappy Four-Line Poems For A Week But You’re Still Not Inspired…

Vegans are the greatest photographers

The world has ever seen

Because instead of saying “Cheese”

They say “Emulsified Pea Protein.”

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…And Now It All Makes Glorious Sense

Of glorious, glorious, glorious cheese

I sing a glorious story

About how glorious you are,

You cheese so full of glory.

Glorious, glorious, glorious cheese,

You’re glorious, it’s true!

I couldn’t afford a thesaurus

Because I bought too much of you.

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Math Meets Meth

They said “Name every number.”

I said “Paul.”

They couldn’t refute my argument

And, thus, that was all.

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Talking to the Recruiter

What’s the best job in the army?

It’s Minesweeping, they say;

You do everything right for years

Then your problems go away.

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Legolas and Pitiless

There are lots of similarities

Between Epstein and Tolkien’s elves:

Both hang around with youngsters

And neither of them kill themselves.

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