Tag Archives: Short

“Noble”

There once was a noble chihuahua

Whose owner was trapped in the shower.

He flew like an ace

To bite her on the face

Then barked nonstop for 24 hours.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

DC Smoothies: Now Made With 100% Sustainably Harvested Peasant Tears

It is a truth we find self-evident

That the people who make the laws

Are the type to drink turtle smoothies

With biodegradable straws.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

She Played Another Game With Me…

Her epic trapper spidey

Killed my supersonic bat-dragon.

Apparently the divorce is off

And we’re back to love and naggin’!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

And You Thought Monopoly Ruined Friendships…

My magic thunder doggy

Killed my fiancee’s fairy horse.

Yes, she played Pokemon with me.

Yes, we’re headed for divorce.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Travelogue, Volume 2

I flew home on a plane through the air

Then I drove in a car on a road.

Now I’m sitting butt-down on a chair

And my creativity has yet to fully load.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Empathy

If everybody in the world

Could be a fish for just one day

I think we’d finally be able to make

Gas station sushi go away.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Travel Traditions

I flew on a plane to New Orleans

And by now you know what that means:

I’m probably tired, and pleased to report

That this poem is late and also is short.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Because Sugar Comes In Many Colors

Today I learned something amazing…

The answer to a riddle:

Apparently there’s more than one

Flavor of Skittles!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Moral Ambiguity In The Marvel Culinary Universe

Honorable dessert, cake of courage,

Your frosting is noble, your filling is strong.

Honorable dessert, please answer me this:

Is wanting to eat you so wrong?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

In The Distance, China Just Laughs

There once was an admiral poll

That asked “how to meet our recruiting goal”

Options one was “Raise pay”

Option two was “Be gay”

And the navy said “‘Kay queens, let’s roll”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems