Tag Archives: Short

My Little League Career

Like the full moon’s silhouette

In the cloudless morning sky

The baseball whispered through the air

And smacked me in the eye.

It’s not a good analogy

Nor a comfortable event

But it gets the basic point across

Of how the ballgame went.

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Charisma 18, Dexterity 1

Abraham Lincoln,

The breaker of chains:

‘Twas he who guided

America’s reigns,

Who heralded vict’ry

And ended much strife

But couldn’t dodge a bullet

To save his life.

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Quick Thoughts On Bad Drivers

Justice

I think we all agree that it’s

A terrible fate to drown

But I still wish it on those

Who pass me then slow down.

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Bumper Stickers:

It have noticed that

People honk for Jesus more

When I text my friends.

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Self-Awareness

If you see a car with the hazard lights on

It’s probably my Grandma Ruth.

She’s not a very good driver

But she always tells the truth.

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You Do It Too…

My pinky and ring-finger rise

And my upward palm is flat,

The universal symbol

Of “What the fuck was that?”

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Dear Snowflakes…

If the words of a total stranger

Can cause great offense to you

Then I have just one thing to say

And that is whoop-dee-doo.

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Oh Sheet…

I started a band where we’d play

Stuff other folks played first. OK?

Then I did discover

Such a band’s called a Cover,

And thus I named our band “Duvet.”

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Tomorrow I’ll Be Motivated

This year I wrote poems

In large quantities.

Next year I will do the same.

That’s why I don’t mind

That my poem this evening

Is a bit on the spectrum of lame.

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Wizard, Meet Rogue

He said he had a magic trick

That always would impress.

He told me to pick any card

So I picked his American Express.

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