Life gave one guy lemons
And life gave the next guy a kid.
The first guy made some lemonade.
You don’t wanna know what the second guy did…
Tag Archives: Short
When You’ve Only Written Crappy Four-Line Poems For A Week But You’re Still Not Inspired…
Vegans are the greatest photographers
The world has ever seen
Because instead of saying “Cheese”
They say “Emulsified Pea Protein.”
Filed under Poems
…And Now It All Makes Glorious Sense
Of glorious, glorious, glorious cheese
I sing a glorious story
About how glorious you are,
You cheese so full of glory.
Glorious, glorious, glorious cheese,
You’re glorious, it’s true!
I couldn’t afford a thesaurus
Because I bought too much of you.
Filed under Poems
Math Meets Meth
They said “Name every number.”
I said “Paul.”
They couldn’t refute my argument
And, thus, that was all.
Filed under Poems
Talking to the Recruiter
What’s the best job in the army?
It’s Minesweeping, they say;
You do everything right for years
Then your problems go away.
Filed under Poems
Legolas and Pitiless
There are lots of similarities
Between Epstein and Tolkien’s elves:
Both hang around with youngsters
And neither of them kill themselves.
