I proudly draw a perfect circle
And then somebody screams…
“It’s a Venn Diagram of people born in the ’90’s
“And people who like to make memes!”
Tag Archives: Short
When Your Roommate Asks You To Demonstrate Basic Hygiene, But You Demonstrate Basic Verbal Agility Instead
You told me, “Take the garbage out,”
And, I’ll admit, I tried.
Alas, your sister’s married
And refused to go outside.
Filed under Poems
The Soy-Bacon of Vice
This evening I realized,
While sitting in the sauna,
Some people make a living
By baking food with marijuana.
So if you are a baker
It does appear to me
You’re basically just selling weed
With a cheaper recipe…
Filed under Poems
Why Has No One Mentioned This Unsung Hero Yet? Conspiracy!
Amidst the “What the heck?s”
About kneeling for anthems and necks
One man has consistently stood tall:
That man is Neil Diamond,
Who protested against crime and
Didn’t change his name to “Stand.” That’s all.
Filed under Poems
Bugging Out
There once were a fly and a flea
Who were healthy and lived in a tree,
Then they flew in a flue
And contracted the flu
And decided to, from the flue, flee.
Filed under Poems
Strong Feelings Abound
I wrote a knock-knock joke
And put it on my page
But no one wrote to ask “Who’s there?”
Thus: My impotent rage.
Filed under Poems
When You Have A Punchline But It’s Four Syllables Long…
Step one: Be God’s son
Step two: Write on stone tablets
And Step three: Prophet!
Filed under Poems
[Insert That One Guy Here]
His heart was as big as a pop-up ad
On a movie you watch on your phone.
His mind was as big as the X in the corner
That tells it to leave you alone.
Filed under Poems
What Happens When I Get Less Than 14 Hours Of Sleep
Today I am sleepy.
Tomorrow I’m somnolent.
Many already realized
This poem won’t rhyme.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 