I once found it tough
To talk about stuff,
But then I went to college.
Now I regale ya
About paraphernalia
‘Cause now I’ve got the knowledge!
Tag Archives: Short
X-1 Teachers
If two trains depart at identical hours
Traveling towards one another
On parallel tracks, both carrying snacks
For the opposite engineer’s mother
When first they pass one another
At speeds varying by a factor of 5
How long will it take before students
Make their teacher no longer alive?
Filed under Poems
When People Write In Nothing But Emojis
The longest month of springtime,
A ball that helps you see,
A band with too much makeup,
And a goat we named “Marie.”
I meant to be romantic
But she had no clue
That I was simply asking
“May I kiss you?”
📆👁🐼🎵🐐?
Filed under Poems
I Didn’t Finish This Poem… You’re Welcome
‘Twas the night after Kwanzaa
And all through the house
The whole family was stirring
But there was no male spouse…
Filed under Poems
If You Can Read This, Don’t Bother
Today is a holiday
As you likely know.
I ate. Now I’m lazy
So I’m gonna go.
Filed under Poems
When Your Vocabulary Is Larger Than Your Target Audience
‘Twas Christmas Eve morning
And one hirsute hyperborean
Was done making toys
And now streaming “The Mandolorian.”
In a matter of hours
Gifts would be delivered on-time.
Meanwhile, one naughty poet
Was pleased with a rhyme.
Filed under Poems
Allie Be Like “OMG It’s Like They’re Reading My Mind!”
A twenty-year-old white girl asked
Why mice seek out a trap.
Then she smiled and sang along
To ALL the gangster rap!
Filed under Poems
1-17 Are Just Slime… 19-100 Are Escargot
When my car won’t work
Because something is faulty
I tend to get angry
Or, some would say, salty.
Yes, salt and rage fill me
Whenever I fail…
That’s reason 18
I’m glad I’m not a snail.
Filed under Poems
Some People Get Paid Millions For This…
If you have a friend who is male
Here’s a game that will never get stale:
Find a sports team or three,
Guess who’ll win, disagree…
You’ll be right half the time without fail!
Filed under Poems
Tomato, Tomahtow
My sister called me self-disciplined.
I said, “I don’t know what you mean.”
She said, “You publish a poem EVERY DAY.”
I said, “That’s just low standards and a routine!”
Filed under Poems
