There once was a Peruvian prince
Who wore a gold pair of nez pince.
He said “I have seen
“Info about Jeff Epstein,”
And no one has heard from him since…
Tag Archives: Short
Live ‘n Learn
The Genie asked, “What’s your last wish?”
I said, “I wanna fly!”
It got eaten by a frog
And now I enunciate more clearly.
Filed under Poems
SCIENCE!
Some people are happy to be born in July
But I say those people are wrong;
Objectively, a January birthday is the best
‘Cause then you don’t have to wait as long.
Poet Who Kicked Tires Hospitalized With Foot Injury
They said they found the car for me,
Right in my price range.
A week later I totaled it
When I got an oil change.
Filed under Poems
Go Cry To… Oops
There’s nothing anyone can say
That won’t offend another.
For instance, if you say
That you live with your mother
Women call you loser,
Men will say you suck,
And orphans will be pissed
Because some guys get all the luck.
Filed under Poems
So The Nuclear Button Might Bring Them Back?
Maybe, just maybe
Dragons aren’t here anymore
Because they breathed fire
But now the sky is full of air?
Filed under Poems
Somebody Once Told Me…
I proudly draw a perfect circle
And then somebody screams…
“It’s a Venn Diagram of people born in the ’90’s
“And people who like to make memes!”
Filed under Poems
When Your Roommate Asks You To Demonstrate Basic Hygiene, But You Demonstrate Basic Verbal Agility Instead
You told me, “Take the garbage out,”
And, I’ll admit, I tried.
Alas, your sister’s married
And refused to go outside.
Filed under Poems
The Soy-Bacon of Vice
This evening I realized,
While sitting in the sauna,
Some people make a living
By baking food with marijuana.
So if you are a baker
It does appear to me
You’re basically just selling weed
With a cheaper recipe…
Filed under Poems
Why Has No One Mentioned This Unsung Hero Yet? Conspiracy!
Amidst the “What the heck?s”
About kneeling for anthems and necks
One man has consistently stood tall:
That man is Neil Diamond,
Who protested against crime and
Didn’t change his name to “Stand.” That’s all.
Filed under Poems
