“Look, a bird!”
The banker said
As he pointed high
Above my head.
There was no bird;
It was a ruse.
That’s probably why
I hate the Jews.
Tag Archives: Silly
Portrait of the Fuehrer as a Young Man
Filed under Poems
Fluffy, White
Have you ever looked up at a cloud
And spoken of its looks aloud?
“That one looks like Canada.”
“I thought it looked like a pelican. Huh.”
It’s a childish game, I guarantee
But play it once to help you see
That a childish game just once a day
Makes fluffy and white what once was gray.
Filed under Poems
The Path Less Trav’l’d
Perhaps people purposefully
Alienate alliteration,
Prob’ly ’cause they tried it once before.
Then they found abbreviation
Which is sup’r fun and simpl’
And they switch’d allegiances forev’r mor’.
Filed under Poems
The Day I Was Smote
I go to church
Once every year
Just to make sure
Of Hell I’m clear.
As I was sitting
On the pew
I suffered pain
And yelled “ow-oo!”
Good sir, you have a hymnia,
A very painful affliction.
It’s very like a hernia
But with better tone and diction.
Filed under Poems
Who Plays My Robot?
If someone made a robot
That represented me
I wonder who would play it
In my film biography.
I’m leaning towards C-3PO
For the golden-boy appeal,
But It’d probably be a roomba
‘Cause that’s a cheaper deal.
I guess we’ll have our answer
Come 2069,
And as long as I’m not Gort
I’m sure it will be fine.
Filed under Poems
Flightless Bird Seeking Same
A young ostrich nun
Walked into a bar
And met a young emu
With two dozen eggs.
She had been looking
For young souls to teach,
And he for a chick with long legs.
So she squawked and he flirted
And showed her his cartons
And she buried her habited
Head in the sand.
And both of them left,
Neither one satisfied.
Neither one left a tip for the band.
The very next day
The ostrich logged in
To FlightlessBirdsMingle.com
Where she sought others
With broods to be won.
The emu just hired a madame.
Filed under Poems
Another 6:00 P.M Poem
I have posted poems
271 days straight,
So you’d think by now I’d have one
Before the clock hits 8:00.
Well here it is, as promised
Though it clearly lacks a point.
By night fall my creative brain
And rhyming brains are spent.
Filed under Poems
A Poignant Thought
If we ever know world peace
We’d have all the luck,
But all of the to-be-released
“Call of Duty” games would suck.
Filed under Poems
A Poet Has Needs
I’m the guy who has a lot;
The guy who wants for nothing
Except a rhyme for a poor setup.
Now look at me. I’m bluthing!
Filed under Poems
If you say “I’d save it,” you’re lying.
If I had a million bucks
I might buy a million ducks
Who would have a million ducklings
And I could watch them grow.
If I had a million bucks
I’d load them in a million trucks
And bring them around the country
To find their perfect doe.
If I had a million bucks
I’d wear a pair of diamond chucks
And a platinum pillow
For when I need to snore.
If I had a million bucks
In cash or deer or even ducks
I wouldn’t spend it prudently.
Perhaps that’s why I’m poor.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 