The hills are alive
With the sound of music
And by “Sound of Music”
We mean wildfires
And by “The hills”
We mean California.
Tag Archives: Stupid
Evening Meditation
As the light fades to yellow
And to bright orangey-red
I summon my thoughts
About life to my head.
As red turns to green
Like autumn reversed
I think of life’s moments,
The best and the worst.
As green turns to amber
The cycle repeats
And I cherish life’s beauty,
The adventures and treats.
Then the light’s green again
And in my pensive mood
I ask “what’s with the honking
“And why are drivers so rude?”
Filed under Poems
Taste Optional
I saw an advertisement
For a poetry group today
Inviting folks to “come and read
“A poem that stabs the heart,
Reveals a truth or sadness,
Or helps you shout hooray.”
I was not well received
By reading “Ode to a Fart.”
Filed under Poems
The Humpback
If you’re a man trying to hump
A large marine mammal that’s male
If it humps back you may have found
A homosexuwhale.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Is Brolken
I wanted to make a polka joke
To show I am a funny folk
Then I drank a diet colk
So instead I told a polka jolk.
Filed under Poems
The Four Elements: A Modern Myth
In the domain of clouds and bursting sun
Lived Lychlorida, daughter of the sky.
In thermals and in tailwinds she’d run,
A sister to all birds and things that fly.
In green and blue and black oceans and seas
Lychlorida sent rain to her brother,
King of water, born of a river breeze,
The second child of their divine mother.
Beneath ocean and sky, sister enflamed,
Deity of fire where the earth’s plates grind,
Asked why only Lychlorida was named
(Although she found she really didn’t mind).
And last, on Earth, the fourth child, king of stone
Knew none of this; He just played on his phone.
Filed under Poems
One Thing Most Of You Will Never Have To Worry About
If you’re ever taking a walk
And you’re an amateur mime named Jean-Jacques
You’d be an unlucky bloke
If you had a stroke
But oh, how the viewers would talk!
Filed under Poems
St. Patty’s Day
Today we drink and wear green clothes
And that’s just about it.
I hope I’ve helped to illustrate
Why this holiday is shit.
Filed under Poems
Why I’m Homeschooled
I knew not how to spell “Schism”
And so I took a wild guess…
“I-t-apostrophe-s-P-
o-i-n-t-l-e-s-s.”
Filed under Poems
The Nose Ring Origin Story?
I wonder who first got the notion
That to enhance one’s beauty and grace
And inspire mens’ loving devotion
They should stick some hardware in their face.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 