Calling someone squeamish
Is more complex than it may seem.
After all, when was the last time
You called someone a squeam?
If someone is Spanish,
Sorta shy-ish, or whatnot
You know exactly what they are
But what’s a squeam?
…
…
…
That’s what I thought!
Filed under Poems
I’m not a competitive person
Like my girlfriend, Eleanor.
We laugh about how competitive she is
But I always laugh more.
——————————————————–
Perfectionists are bad at limbo
But not because it’s tough…
They spend the game complaining
That the bar’s not high enough.
Filed under Poems
Today I made money
By performing tasks.
That’s why this poem’s late and bad
In case anybody asks.
Filed under Poems
I am not the clothes I wear.
I’m not the style of my hair.
I’m not my height or weight or style,
Neither my scowl nor my smile.
All these things that you can see
Mean nothing to that which is me.
I’m what I do, or so I’ve found;
My body’s just to get around.
Filed under Poems
There’s a horde of faceless people
Milling blindly in the road,
Never seeing their solutions,
Never earning what they’re owed.
They are nameless, they are faceless,
And they haven’t got a clue…
If that is what you see of them
Then that’s how they’ll see you.
Filed under Poems
Some people think art
Is how the heart speaks
And I think the heart’s saying
“Dude, your paint bottle leaks.”
Filed under Poems
A Ferrari costs 301,000 dollars.
A fleece blanket costs $4.99.
So would you trade 400 horsepower
For blissful fuzz ’til the year 62339?
Filed under Poems
After the date, I told her
“I want to see you
“As often as I see
“Google search, page 2”
She offered me a sandwich
And I said “Thank you dear.”
She sighed and asked “What would you do
“If I were to disappear?”
I said “I’d eat steak every day
“And be left with much more money.”
She scowled, so I bought her jewelry
And now she thinks I’m funny.
Filed under Poems
What you need to know about ducks
Is not as important as the fact
That every day a million fish
Are, by some birds, attacked.
Those fish cannot defend themselves
Against these violent birds
And it’s time for us to take a stand
And learn to use our words.
When I held political office
In a non-avian related capacity
I realized that my constituents
Viewed me as a guy with some sagacity.
Because of that, I make my case
That fish deserve love too
So vote for me in 2020
And also ducks. Thank you!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 