I danced a sappy sort of waltz-
The type that’s rife with lots of schmaltz.
The I passed out, demonstrating my faults.
That’s why I’m grateful for smellingsalts.
Category Archives: Poems
Chicken Couplets (Guest Poem from S-BC”CAG”BPCTWMYB[P])
By Katy:
Chickens are so much maligned,
But if you look I think you’ll find
That if a chicken lays an egg or two,
That’s much more work than me or you.
When you die it’s with a selfish craze,
But a chicken gives back with a ginger glaze!
And so to chickens you should be kind,
For they seem most helpful to my small mind.
Thanks Katy!
Do you think chickens are great and deserve to be recognized positively via the medium of mediocre poetry? Enter the Semi-Bicentennial “Chickens Are Good” Bad Poetry Contest That Won’t Make You Bald (Probably)!
Get the details here:
Filed under Poems
What’s Wwong With This Stowy?
I’ve been a priest for many years
With all that such entails.
I’ve heard the common people cry
And comforted their wails.
But when a man with a speech disorder came
To church my life got dire
For until then I’d never been
Preaching to the cwier.
Filed under Poems
Saturday, March the Whateverth
You ever have
Those lazy days
Where you do nothing
In all sorts of ways?
You listen to comedy,
Read some books,
Watch youtube clips
Of stupid crooks,
Eat canned meat
And drink whole milk
And critique the jazz
Of Acker Bilk?
‘Til 5:00 PM
You stay in bed?
Me neither. What an imagination
In my head. 🙂
Filed under Poems
That’s Why Babies Look Funny When They Learn To Walk!
If life were like a video game
I think it quickly would get lame
‘Cause everyone would act the same
And people would compete for fame
And money and stuff you’d seek to claim
And maybe you’d love a token dame.
Your repeated failures might cause shame
And you’d be worthy of others’s blame.
You’ll find comfort in a pet to tame
And maybe give it a funny name
Like Blooper, Tweazle, Grumps, or Zame…
Holy crap! Life’s just like a video game!
Filed under Poems
Guest Poem from the Semi-Bicentennial “Chickens Are Good” Bad Poetry Contest That Will Not Make You Bald (Probably)
From Bill:
Chickens are oviparous,
I’m sure you realize.
They generously produce for us,
Eggs of every size.
These eggs do nourish some of us,
and for that we are thankful.
(Others they make malodorous,
but we do forgive your stank, Phil.)
Chickens have earned their place in heaven,
don’t you realize?
With a little flour and leaven,
you get “Chicken Surprise!”
Thanks Bill!
Want your bad poetry featured on the blog for the world to silently mock? Get the details here!
Filed under Poems
Proof That Money Is Meaningless
$$$ $$ $ $$$$$$$
$$$$ $$ $$$$$ $$$.
$$$$ $$$ $ $$ $$$$$$:
$$$ $$$$ $$$$$!
Filed under Poems
Different Types
If you like lettuce
And cabbage and kale
And you want to be green
And maybe save a whale
I wish you a life
That is long, joyful, happy
While I go to Hell
With people who aren’t so sappy.
Filed under Poems
Really Though, How Do You Spell The Last Word?
I looked at all the people
Seated in their chairs.
I told them “I won’t paint the steps”
But I only got blank stares.
The Daily Travesty 