Dark banana peel
Right beside the “wet floor” sign:
People watching spot.
Category Archives: Poems
The Anarchist’s Haiku
I Am Chicken
I am chicken:
Hear me roar.
Feeding me
Is a daily chore.
Every fancy
Meat you see
Tastes exactly
Just like me.
I am chicken
With great legs.
I’m a prolific donor
Of my eggs.
Which came first
I cannot say,
But people ask me
Every day.
I am chicken,
But do not scoff:
I can outrun you
With my head cut off.
Call me cowardly
And you’ll have strife indeed.
You’ll awake to my call
And be paid with my feed.
Filed under Poems
Seriously, Why Not?
Dolphins are smart and playful,
But incapable of talking.
Why hasn’t someone hooked them up
To speak like Stephen Hawking?
Not even hollywood has thought
To contemplate that scenario
Instead the make “Sharknado 3.”
It must be they just don’t care-io.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Productivity
There are days when a lot gets done.
There are days which are tons of fun.
Then there are days that start with “Mon.”
Today was like the latter one.
Filed under Poems
Now Serving Number 1,347,362,897,363,076…
I think that when you die
You go up to the sky
And log in to the Heaven registry
Of those awaiting birth
Again onto the Earth.
It’s just another big bureaucracy.
You spend the days after your doom
In cloud-nine’s waiting room
With the patio salesman, Bill.
So if you have a heart attack
You’ll see why Christ has not come back,
And at this rate, he probably never will.
Filed under Poems
Variety
I went to a fancy restaurant
On the other side of Vermont.
The air outside was a silent mist,
While within was a wandering violinist.
The atmosphere was nice, for sure,
But the cliche was hard to endure.
So just once in every while
A wandering trombone would make me smile.
Filed under Poems
Linguistically Correct
I went to the movies
With a hefty bag
Of detritus, garbage, and junk
Because you told me
To take out the trash.
This was the date up which I thunk.
Filed under Poems
Driver’s Ed Dropouts
Saw down a tree.
Chop it down with an ax.
Burn it, chainsaw it,
Send it anthrax.
There are lots of good ways
To get rid of a tree,
But hitting it with your car
Doesn’t sound smart to me.
Filed under Poems
Ode to an iPhone
You tell me how much time I waste
And predict my musical taste.
You hold my apps. My photos too.
Where would “i” be without you.
You give me guidance when I’m lost.
You’re worth my monthly data cost.
When I’m lonely on the road
I swipe to wake you and enter my code
And there I am! Right back at home.
In a pinch, you’re a mirror for my comb.
You light the darkness, check my mail,
Encourage me to “play again” when I fail.
You’ll be with me night and day.
To all your thoughts I’ll click OK.
So phone of mine, I cannot lie:
You are the Apple of my “i.”
Filed under Poems
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butterfly
I wanted to collect butterflies,
But mom and dad said no.
I said “I’ll collect margarin flies instead.”
I sure told them so!
So here I’m sitting with my net
Wondering “where did they all go?”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 