I’m finished with finals!
I’m finally done!
And now all the classrooms
Make way for the sun!
Exams are extinguished
And classes are passed.
The papers are written.
Summer’s here at long last!
Commitments are finished,
At least ’til the Fall.
What will I do?
How ’bout nothing at all?
Filed under Poems
By my sister you first became “Mother.”
Then you made me, the brother.
Dad helped with that too, and how-do-you-do,
We’re a family like no other.
But this family really started
When off your mom was carted
To the delivery room, then bang-clang-kerploom!
From her body you departed.
And so this day we do
Take time to celebrate you.
Not with cheap paper hats (we are cooler than that’s),
But with a birthday choo-choo boogaloo.
(Figuratively speaking).
So whether weather is warm or cold,
You we will will hug, kiss, and hold.
So have a wonderful year, and just to be clear,
Our love for you never grows old.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
It’s beautiful, this field,
With grass as high as your knees.
Soft and green
Swaying gently in a breeze
As warm as my love’s embrace.
We met here as children.
In the end she’d be my wife.
We trampled flowers, frightened birds
And swore eternal love to life
And each other.
Twelve years later we returned,
Twice as old and just as free.
She wanted to make love,
And I fell to one knee
And told her to wait a bit longer.
The wedding came, intimate,
With guests totaling eleven.
It rained and we cried
In joy, in love, in heaven.
There was a rainbow before the sunset.
I return sixty years later
Driving down the road unpaved.
It rains again as I kneel
And lay a flower on her grave
In the field that is us.
Filed under Poems
I feel sorry for Bane,
That villainous guy.
He grew up in a pit
Gazing up at the sky.
He never ate Birthday Cake,
Cookies, or Pie.
I hope you now know
Why he wants you to die.
I hide under your bed,
And I listen to you sleep.
I’m a hairy, hungry monster,
And a very scary creep.
I slide from under the mattress
And I long to hear your screams,
But as I lean over your face
My pants year at the seams.
Well I cover up my booty
And composure I regain.
Then I step on a Lego
And my mind goes numb from pain.
I stumble back and bite my tongue
And try to silent be.
Then your eyes flap open
And you take a look at me.
It seems bizarre to you,
So you think it’s a nightmare.
So you fall asleep, and I silently scream:
“This monster’s life ain’t fair.”
So I slink back to the ground
And crawl back beneath your bed.
Tomorrow I’ll do better.
Tomorrow you’ll be dead….
Filed under Poems
I have great news
To share with yous.
(That’s the travesty plural of you).
We’ve hit a milestone
Of our very own.
Our followers are one hundred and two!
Many thanks to you,
Who make dreams come true,
This blog’s no longer B-team.
I thank my stars
For “Monkey Bars.”
Acceptable this I do deem.
So what does lay
For the future day
Of the Daily Travesty?
Quite possibly
Philosophy
And more humorous stuff by me.
And around the bend,
Near the end
Of the year 2013.
I may just have a book,
So come back for a look.
‘Twill be something to be seen.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
I’m tired of B-team,
But that’s who I am.
I’m a win-silver human,
A second-place Sam.
I’m tired of B-team,
The farm team, the student.
I’m sick of “you’ll get there.”
“Stick with it.” “Be prudent.”
I’m tired of B-team,
Backup, JV.
I’m ready for bigger,
To live and to be.
I’m tired of B-team,
But I’ll change how I see.
I’m not best at that,
But I’m the very best me.
I smoked an aspirin once
While I was riding on a train.
I saw iridescent rainbows
And a world devoid of pain.
Then I smoked Viagra,
And man was that a joy!
I grew just like Pinocchio.
I felt like a real boy.
Filed under Poems
If a necktie were a seagull
And shirts resembled chili,
Then pants look like a beagle
And business men look silly.
Filed under Poems
They set up the board
In four neat lines.
The kings they ward
Through strength of minds.
White moves his pawn,
Then black does too.
The game rolls on.
The kings stand true.
First blood is drawn
By a charging knight.
The queen takes pawn,
And bishops fight.
The rook takes knight
Then pawn kills pawn.
Black fights white.
The kings carry on.
After an hour
And a twist of fate,
The queen shows her power
And that’s checkmate.
The players stand.
The battle is done,
And both are winners,
For both had fun.
Filed under Poems
