Tag Archives: Batman


There once was a comic detective

Who had a unique bat perspective.

He had gadgets and jokes

‘Til the Hollywood folks

Said “Do more, but the fun is defective.”

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There once was a millionaire socialite

Who liked to dress up and fight crime at night.

First he’d battle a villain

Then go home and be chillin’

And so far he’s exclusively white.

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Think Of A Clown, But Creepy, Then Laugh A Lot And Act Evil…

Jared Leto, as The Joker,

Made “Suicide Squad” tolerable.

Joaquin Phoenix, as The Joker,

Made his film a billion-dollar-able

Heath Ledger, as The Joker,

Took the Oscar world by storm

And Jack Nicholson, as The Joker,

Was creepy, as per the norm.

Cesar Romero, as The Joker,

Was a true comedic villain.

With nothing but his voice

Mark Hamill made The Joker chilling.

Looking at this track record

All I have to say

Is maybe… (bear with me) maybe…

Joker’s an easy roll to play?

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Batman Problems

Dick and Bruce went on a trip.

Dick asked “want to play Battleship?”

Bruce said “Sure, I want to play,

“But what’s a tleship anyway?”

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The Hero We Deserve

I hope somewhere there is a bat

Who’s terrified of men

Who flew off to train with ninjas

And (insert syllables here) then

He became a vigilante

Fighting crime and stuff like that.

He holes up in his man cave

Because he’s called Manbat.

He wears a man-shaped costume

With a cape that’s shaped like fat.

The drives his manmobile badly

Because he is a bat.

I want this very badly

Mostly ’cause of the “man cave” pun.

His sidekick is called Flamingo

And yes, this poem is done.

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Robin’s Faux-Pas

As I lay in the dust,

My body broken,

My blood pooling into a lake

I remembered saying

“At least I’m not an orphan.”

Sorry Batman, my mistake.

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Frodo was a wizard

In a blue police box.

He keeps watch over Gotham

And wears “Game of Thrones” socks.

His nemesis was Gary Oak.

He aimed to misbehave.

If you understand this poem

Give a fellow fan a wave.

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How to be Batman in 24 Hours

I manage some apartments
And I like to play some cards,
But this week I became batman.
It wasn’t all that hard.

I started by evicting the tenant
In apartment twenty two, man.
She moved away with her twenty cats.
I’d kicked out the Cat Woman.

That very night some friends of mine
Came over to play some poker.
We had a deck of fifty three cards,
So I took out the joker.

What villain will I conquer next
At my apartment in central Maine?
We’ll see, but first I’ll shop a bit
Online at, yes… E-bayne.

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I feel sorry for Bane,
That villainous guy.
He grew up in a pit
Gazing up at the sky.

He never ate Birthday Cake,
Cookies, or Pie.
I hope you now know
Why he wants you to die.

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