The road told the rooster
“You look like a hen.”
The rooster killed the road’s family
And it never crossed the chicken again.
Princess Fatigue
Ask any man “Would you marry?”
And the man will most-likely say “Sure.”
He’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days
To announce his commitment to her.
Ask any girl “Would you marry?”
And she’ll smile and say “Yes” with glee.
“And he’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days
“To announce his commitment to me!”
The Humpback
If you’re a man trying to hump
A large marine mammal that’s male
If it humps back you may have found
A homosexuwhale.
Filed under Poems
Starched Contrast
“Iron Man” is a hero
Who shoots lasers from his hand.
He has no female counterpart…
“Iron Woman” is a command.
Filed under Poems
No Forks Given
There are no untraveled roads
In human lives on Earth,
Just a single well-worn trail
You’ve traveled since your birth.
No choice you ever didn’t make
Can burden you with debts;
You’ve walked too well along your path
To suffer from regrets.
Every scrape and every scar
Through every dusty mile
Brought every hidden tear of joy
And every quiet smile.
So should a stumble in your past
Disturb your present mind,
Salvation’s on the trail ahead;
There is no trail behind.
Filed under Poems
More Deep Thoughts
Living a happy and comfortable life
Is like eating a lot of chocolate:
It makes you fat and kills you slowly
But it’s totally worth it.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Is Brolken
I wanted to make a polka joke
To show I am a funny folk
Then I drank a diet colk
So instead I told a polka jolk.
Filed under Poems
Probably Murder Too, But…
This may be oversimplified
But I think there’s just one sin:
To sacrifice one’s love of life
In the hope you’ll somehow win.
Filed under Poems
Pass It On
There’s a lot in life to pass on
Like the buck, the ball, the chance,
The slow guy in the right lane
And the guy who wants to dance.
There’s a lot in life to pass on
But some we should pass more:
A smile, a joke, a genius stroke,
What matters at our core.
We can take a pass on vacuuming
Without many repercussions
But we don’t get back missed kisses
And unlistened-to discussions.
And as you pass decisions
Other folks are passing too
So tell the world “I’m open”
And smile at what gets passed to you.
Filed under Poems
At The Office
Sometimes I’m at work
And I lose my stapler
And my will to live.
———————————–
-Ace job interview
-Take 10 paid vacation days
-Get fired, repeat
———————————–
Write a few haikus
About work though self-employed.
#Poetry
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 