This afternoon, Jay Inslee,
The Governor of WA,
Mandated everyone wear masks
To which I stated: “Ha!”
The problem with such mandates
Is that if up the police show
You can say “I’m attracted to plants today”
And they have to let you go.
Tag Archives: Coronavirus
Not The Solution We Need, But The Solution We Deserve…
Thousands of New Yorkers
Are dying every day,
Yet no one has the courage
To step on up and say
“Send every smart-mouthed teenager
“Some radioactive Purell.”
We could have superheroes by now
But the government says “Oh well…”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Bright Side?
In Venice, the dolphins are happy,
Galavanting in the canals;
Some folks say that Covid is the reason.
The people of Miami
Have big smiles as well
Because their Dolphins might not play this season!
Filed under Poems
My Musings On The Economy
I’m a musician in Washington state.
Governor Inslee extended the date
Of the “Stay home, stay safe” order,
Banning two months of shows.
How I’ll make those 12 bucks back, nobody knows…
Filed under Poems
If You Want A Cure By February…
We’ve spent weeks in quarantine
And doubt is setting in.
Our leaders have ignored
The simplest way to win
This war against a virus.
We ask: Why haven’t they
Called Chuck Norris on the phone
To make it go away?
Filed under Poems
Somebody’s Gonna Feel Butt-Hurt
Today you might feel sad
But you’re still better off than the guy
Who bought 90 rolls of toilet paper
Then found out it’s all single-ply.
Filed under Poems
Some Jobs Can’t Catch A Break…
Where I live in Washington
The schools are shutting down.
The restaurants are closing
All across my little town.
Musicians, actors, dancers
Have no place to ply their trade
And artists cannot show their work
And therefor can’t get paid.
Amidst setbacks and panic
There’s a cloud with a silver-line:
Though you cannot learn or act
Or dance or sing or dine
There is no ban on poetry
Being posted on the net;
Thus why I’m still writing at 10:39.
Is this virus over yet?
Filed under Poems
We’re Also Live-Streaming Bird Songs And Countable Sheep
This is your local government
Now or pretty soon
Emailing to let you know
That we sanitized the moon.
Looking into space
Will no longer cause disease
So while we cancel everything
Go stargaze as you please.
Filed under Poems
Made In China
Two Americans have died
From Coronavirus as of this date.
Also, 18,000 Americans
By the flu have met their fate.
That a virus 9,000-times less deadly
Than the flu can be this stressful
Is evidence enough for how
Asian folks are so successful.
Filed under Poems
He’s Asian, So He’ll Probably Send Me $6
When the Coronavirus began
I sent my buddy a letter:
“Bet you five bucks this is the new plague
“Because asians do everything better.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 