I know I shouldn’t have walked alone
Through the parking garage at night,
Especially when it’s very dark
And I am very white.
Some hoodlums did assail me
And called “Hands in the air!”
But I did not not obey them
And instead without a care
Reached deep inside my jacket
Where I keep my alto recorder
And I played the G Major scale
To restore the law and order.
And so the hoodlums left me
And I drove home just fine.
That’s why you pay attention in school.
Now what’s the log (base ten) of nine?
Filed under Poems
I went to a gathering of people
Who like to drink and drive,
Pull quickly into traffic…
On recklessness they thrive.
They’re the reason we have accidents
And I almost forgot to mention
That there were lots of nerds there.
It was a start wreck convention!
Filed under Poems
Going twenty-eight in a twenty zone
While casting glances at his phone
With his lap belt fastened but not his shoulder
And an open bottle of water in the holder.
He drove on through a yellow light.
He flashed no signal but still turned right.
He’s of a group of scofflaws such
Who’ll break the law, but not by much.
Filed under Poems
I’ve been awake
For fourty hours now.
Almost got murdered
By a stray dog tonight.
I’m whiter than mayo
Or milk from a cow
But they released #PokemonGo
So I guess I’m alright.
Filed under Poems
When she looks at me
Children scream and flowers die.
Probably no big deal…
Filed under Poems
Did you see it coming
Up above your head?
‘Cause if you didn’t, you’re probably
Kinda going to be a bit dead.
!
P.S. My new book is being released just in time for the 4th of July. Until June 26th (this Thursday), you have a chance to get a free copy! Check out the “coming soon” tab for more info.
P.P.S.
Sorry can’t explain my apol…
Ogetic attitude
Right now
Regarding today’s poem.
Yep, that’s about it.
Filed under Poems
Yellow teeth
And orange eyes
Shine like fire
Under the full moon.
I try to smile,
Tell some lies,
But all I can say is
“Hey honey. Back so soon?”
My lover plods forwards
With wolfish eyes fixed
On the little pink pocket
At the base of my neck.
I know what I must do.
My feelings aren’t mixed.
It’s her time of the month,
And out I must get the heck.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 