Tag Archives: Pokemon

And With That Hair I’m Destined For National Leadership

If I were a Pokemon

I’d want to be Crabominable

Because no one would enslave me

And fight in a manner intolerable.

Yes, ugliness has benefits

When avoiding death is your aim.

And for you ’90s kids who say its fake:

You should play a more recent game.

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Pokemon

A pyromaniacal lizard,

A grand aquatic turtle,

A plant-infested dinosaur

Walk into a bar.

Some ten-yeard-olds

Go on a quest with them.

It’s worked out well so far.

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Stanzas 2, Thought 0

When I moved into

The mobile home park

I thought my life

Was turning dark,

But I found pleasure

As I sought paying labors

In the form of melo-

Dramatic neighbors.

If you say “hello”

They say “Hail traveler!”

You say “I like Charizard,”

And they say “I love Graveler!”

It’s like they’re in a movie,

So although my life’s a failure

I take solace in the fact

They’re a theatrical trailer.

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Unbiased Advice On Picking Your Pokemon Go Team

Now that we can realize

Our Pokemon-catching dreams

We must make the hard decision

Of picking from three teams.

The team that you decide on

Is the team to which you stick,

So I’ve written this unbiased poem

To help you make your pick.

First we have team valor,

The team for the brave and true.

Second is team instinct

If impulsive describes you.

If either of these teams

Is the one you eventually choose

I hope that you find comfort

In the fact you’re sure to lose.

For among the three teams

One’s sure to reign supreme:

The mighty Articuno

Leads the mighty Mystic team!

If you reside anywhere

From the South Pole to Juneau

Know that you’ll find victory

With Team Blue and Articuno.

If you pick red and Moltres

Or Zapdos and team yellow

You’re surely a disgrace

And an addle-brain-ed fellow

For mystic gives you answers

That don’t require you to think.

Besides, unlike the other two

Team Mystic doesn’t stink.

I’ve presented much hard evidence

To support my choice,

But if you still think otherwise

I urge you – raise your voice!

I’d love to read your poems

That explain how you chose wrong.

Now just imagine this poem ends

With fireworks and a gong.

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My Life At This Moment

I’ve been awake

For fourty hours now.

Almost got murdered

By a stray dog tonight.

I’m whiter than mayo

Or milk from a cow

But they released #PokemonGo

So I guess I’m alright.

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Fandoms

Frodo was a wizard

In a blue police box.

He keeps watch over Gotham

And wears “Game of Thrones” socks.

His nemesis was Gary Oak.

He aimed to misbehave.

If you understand this poem

Give a fellow fan a wave.

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Gotta Catch The One

When I was a kid
My hardest choice
Was choosing between Charizard
And Blastoise.

I’ve grown up since then,
Lived through rises and falls,
And I now capture hearts
Instead of monsters in balls.

And I’ve met many women,
But no no love proved true.
But I caught all 150
When I laid eyes on you.

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