Tag Archives: Finance

Compound Disinterest

Back in the age when wealthy folk

Made twenty cents an hour,

The internet was in morse code,

And photographs were dour

A strapping lass of 25

Dug up a hidden stash

Of gold bouillon from Mexico

Worth $20 million cash.

She put it in a bank account

That earned an APR

Of 65 percent a year

And traveled wide and far.

A hundred thousand years went by

And humans passed away,

But in an old abandoned bank

The fortune’s there to stay

Until some alien arrives

And withdraws so many bucks

That the number almost equals

How much I think soccer sucks.

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Squeaking By

My financial situation

Is eating this rodent whole.

They told me I should “gopher broke.”

Alas, I’m just a mole.

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The Money/Trees Quandary: A Contemporary discussion of the Fiscal and Sociological Impacts of Wild Currency

If money grew on trees
We’d see fewer thieves,
And we’d have a new perspective
On the growing of mint leaves.

If money grew on trees
The forests would be shining
And all the coins as foliage
Would cut back the need for mining.

If money grew on trees
Then natural selection
Would show us who new world leaders are
Before their big election.

If money grew on trees
Interest in forests would grow.
No one would buy stocks;
Their investments would really grow.

If money grew on trees
Fewer fires would start via smoker
And Casinos all would move outside
For better games of poker.

If money grew on trees
One question still remains
Which raises important fiscal concerns:
What happens when it rains?

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