If everyone were just like me
The world would fall apart.
There’d be a passive love of science
But in practice only art.
There’d be a lot of people
Who don’t care what’s thought of them
When they’re writing crummy poems
At 10:08 PM.
There would be no magicians
(Or at least that are any good)
But everyone’s intentions
Would be perfectly understood.
If everyone were just like me
Very little would get done
But we’d be the best looking clones since Star Wars
And we’d have lots of understated fun.
Filed under Poems
I wanted to go
To the movies with you.
You couldn’t go
But that wouldn’t do
So I dressed like one person
Pretending to be two.
It was pretty fun.
The guy at the window
Sold me two passes
Despite recognizing
I wasn’t two lasses.
The tickets saw through my ploy
Like X-ray glasses:
Both of them said “Admit One.”
You don’t often hear stories
About giant sea cucumbers
Who dabble in intrigue
And paint by numbers.
You don’t hear the stories
Of the cukes of the night,
But they’re real. One day
You’ll see that I’m right…
Filed under Poems
A little bird called me cheap
So I murdered it,
Not because it called me cheap
But because I’m an asshole.
Filed under Poems
It’s hard to write a travesty
If, indeed, you are like me
And despite your hopes and dreams
Nothing hurts and no one screams.
It’s hard to find valid complaints
When no one bleeds or pukes or faints,
When songbirds sing and angels fly
And all the spiders up and die.
It’s hard to be a downer debbie
When light stuff’s light and hebby’s hebby.
The world is peaceful, lovely, flat…
Oh wait, it’s not?
I can write about that!
Filed under Poems
It’s late.
I’m tired.
Trump says
“You’re fired.”
I lack
My mind.
People who can’t see
Are blind.
I waited
So long
To write
What’s wrong
Yet still
My other stuff
Is often worse
So there. *Huff*
Filed under Poems
Glum spelunkers
Flop and scoot
And wobble in a crevasse.
I don’t know whether
That’s relevant or true
But it sounds nice, so that’s something.
Filed under Poems
My bones ache,
My pores burn,
My very innards
Are a’ churn.
Exhaustion sets
My hair ablaze.
I do approach
The end of days.
I’m dehydrated
As I ask you
Why wouldn’t I
Stay up ’til 2:00?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 