Shelly shivers several shivers
By the side of the seashore.
She sees the sheen of seal-shaped seashells.
(A scene unforeseen for sure).
She’s a shy shaking searcher,
Seeking several shining shells,
‘Cause she sure supports herself
Through seal-shaped seashells she sure sells.
Tag Archives: Humor
Read This Poem… I Dare You
The Most Dangerous Game
Someone once asked, “What would be more dangerous: Slapping a bear on the face, or slapping an elk on the chest?” May this poem be your answer.
If you slap a bear across the face
It will probably break your bones.
It will maul you, bruise you, make you bleed,
And smash your freakin’ phone!
But if you slap an elk across the chest
It will more than end your life,
‘Cause that elk knows where you live,
And he’ll kidnap your wife.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Filed under Poems
Pickup Poem
If you share a room your are roommates.
Two witches, they are broom mates.
Two husbands might be groom mates,
And mass graves make for tomb mates.
Two buddies in Australia
Are just plain mates, it’s true.
But we don’t need those titles.
I just want to mate with you.
Filed under Poems
Flying Time
There comes a time,
From time to time,
When time passes too quickly.
Through times of joys
For girls and boys,
But not times that are sickly.
So I ask time
Just one more time
“Must you fly when we’re having fun?”
And in a timely way
Time did say
“I don’t if your joy’s never done.”
Filed under Poems
Sex
Sex is a service.
It takes lots of work,
But it’s a pretty good job
With its fair share of perks.
Sometimes it’s hard,
(And we hope that it is).
It needs some of hers,
And it needs some of his.
Filed under Poems
Prom Baby
I picked her up at seven
Going to the promenade.
She was dressed in a vermillion gown
Wrapped tightly ’round her bod.
I gazed into her emerald eyes.
My heart was thumping madly.
That evening’s when I realized
I was going to be a Daddy.
(It’s great to be back after six months. Long live the mediocrity)!
Filed under Poems
Nice Guys
When I step on a rug, I always say “I’m sorry.”
I try to good, to warm instead of frost.
Because the world is a jungle, a wild safari,
And sometimes the nice guys get lost.
But the one thing we navigate in this wide, scary world
Is the bedroom, where seldom nice guys are outclassed,
For to the women who look past our impishness is unfurled
The fact that nice guys always finish last.
Filed under Poems
Haiku: Do’s and Don’t’s
This is a haiku.
Seven syllables this line.
First and last have five.
This haiku is bad.
Do not write one that’s like this.
That would be a mistake.
Filed under Poems
The Stuff of Gods
Zeus likes keeping animals
Behind enclosure walls.
Ares is the God of war,
And busts a lot of balls.
Uranus is an deity
Who you can always say is yours,
And when the thunder God gets chicken pox
He becomes covered in Thors.
Muslims think that poultry
Is an animal about which to sing,
Because they worship Allah,
And with chicken Allah’s king.
Filed under Poems
Commitment
I said I’d return to my blog today,
This 30th day of September.
I’m tired, and I’d rather be sleeping right now,
But commitment I need to remember.
And remember indeed I do.
I remember a commitment I made back in May:
I killed a man to to write on this blog on schedule,
And to jail I was committed the next day.
Filed under Poems
