Tag Archives: Liberals

If You Don’t Think This Poem Is Ironic, You’re Part Of The Problem

There’s no place for intolerance

Among people I know.

If you’re someone intolerant

Then you had better go.

Intolerance is evil

And if you disagree

Then you should be ashamed

And also learn to think like me!

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They Conquered Chess… Now They Conquer Your Newsfeed?

You may be scared the internet

Is written by a Russian bot,

But what you should be frightened of

(And probably are not)

Is that, if Russian bots can write

These posts (and if they do)

That a cold, mindless automaton

Is more informed than you.

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When You Break The 11th Commandment

There once was a womxn from Berkeley

Who acted rashly and berserkly.

Zhe drove a non-hybrid car

To an all-vegan bar.

These micro-aggressions were carried out jerkily.


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Christmas In Cascadia

We the people laugh and sing

Though our houses serve as graves

To the offspring of the forests

And the farms of evergreen slaves.

We hang lights on the bodies

Of the trees we cut ourselves

And celebrate the sootiness

Of indentured arctic elves.

Our celebration is offensive

To terrorists a world away

Thus to mention “Merry Christmas”

Means you’re probably anti-gay.

So just say “Happy Holidays,”

And smile and submit

So folks who think this poem is serious

Will not have a fit.

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She’s Not Worth It

A girl whom I admire

Asked me “do you want to go

“To an all-inclusive, safe-space

“Fair-trade, vegan comedy show?”

She said, if not, I could suggest

Something I think’s more fun

Which is why this weekend

I got a colonoscopy done.

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