You may be scared the internet
Is written by a Russian bot,
But what you should be frightened of
(And probably are not)
Is that, if Russian bots can write
These posts (and if they do)
That a cold, mindless automaton
Is more informed than you.
Tag Archives: Liberals
When You Break The 11th Commandment
There once was a womxn from Berkeley
Who acted rashly and berserkly.
Zhe drove a non-hybrid car
To an all-vegan bar.
These micro-aggressions were carried out jerkily.
Filed under Poems
Christmas In Cascadia
We the people laugh and sing
Though our houses serve as graves
To the offspring of the forests
And the farms of evergreen slaves.
We hang lights on the bodies
Of the trees we cut ourselves
And celebrate the sootiness
Of indentured arctic elves.
Our celebration is offensive
To terrorists a world away
Thus to mention “Merry Christmas”
Means you’re probably anti-gay.
So just say “Happy Holidays,”
And smile and submit
So folks who think this poem is serious
Will not have a fit.
Filed under Poems
She’s Not Worth It
A girl whom I admire
Asked me “do you want to go
“To an all-inclusive, safe-space
“Fair-trade, vegan comedy show?”
She said, if not, I could suggest
Something I think’s more fun
Which is why this weekend
I got a colonoscopy done.
Filed under Poems
