Event people nationwide
I humbly implore you:
If you have a craft fair
You should have a gun show too
So mom can get a crocheted scarf
And dad a .22
Tag Archives: Life
A 30-Something’s Review of Fortnite
In my day, our violent games
Were about shooting guys and taking names.
Now you skydive, camp, and swim
And randomly change from her to him,
Running from a big pink cloud
And avoiding things that are scary or loud.
When I was young, you daren’t mess up
But now I guess we get to dress up?
Filed under Poems
Endings Are Overrated. Candles, Not So Much.
Lights are flickering.
Dire rain and wind give me
An excuse to post…
Filed under Poems
Six Years Old And Already Screaming About Stuff That Doesn’t Matter
Today I taught a first-grade class
And of the 18 kids
Six were joys, six were invisible,
And six blew off their lids.
So one of three will be successful
And one in three will be cute
And one in three do nothing, but loudly
Which is just who the Feds will recruit.
Filed under Poems
We’ve Come A Long Way Since 867-5309
The upside of the “6-7” trend
Is that it may show the unheralded end
Of kids saying “420-69”
Which makes me feel better than fine.
Filed under Poems
We’re Living In A Fairy Tale
Once, there were some evil kings
Who did a lot of evil things.
As times go, it was not pleasant.
Unfortunately, that time’s the present.
Filed under Poems
Equity
Instead of arguing white vs. black,
Men vs. women, straights vs. gays,
Let’s just accept that we’re all kinda dumb
And move on with our kinda dumb days.
Filed under Poems
Congressional Privilege
So we can’t pay employees
Who keep on working hard
Despite a shut-down government
With a maxed-out credit card
And yet we pay the people
Who got us in this mess
With money that we do not have?
‘Murica, I guess…
Filed under Poems
Oh Yeah… We’ll Also Make Every Micro-Sheet Get Dispensed Using Electricity Made From Burning Coal
So paper towels are made from trees
And killing tree will kill the Earth
So to save more trees and thus the planet
We must have a towel dispenser rebirth:
Henceforth no towel dispenser shall
Give more than a three-inch sheet.
Of course you can use it unlimited times.
Isn’t saving the planet neat?
Filed under Poems
I Failed My Wisdom Saving Throw
Work at 5:00 AM.
We played D&D tonight.
Sleep is optional.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 