I’m not lying. I’m just saying
That you appear as if you’re weighing
More than your real weight suggests…
Ok, you do look fat in that dress.
Tag Archives: Life
If You Know, You Know
Halloween one-shot
Playing long past 9:00 PM
My nerd social life
Filed under Poems
Dark And Stormy Night
Samhain night, a downpour wild
Can’t douse the heart of Autumn’s child
Who dresses as their greatest fear
And walks the streets in merry cheer
Demanding sweets from passers by
Who look upon the youth and sigh
Recalling when they stood so small,
Another life, another Fall.
Filed under Poems
Sincerely, Guys
Event people nationwide
I humbly implore you:
If you have a craft fair
You should have a gun show too
So mom can get a crocheted scarf
And dad a .22
Filed under Poems
A 30-Something’s Review of Fortnite
In my day, our violent games
Were about shooting guys and taking names.
Now you skydive, camp, and swim
And randomly change from her to him,
Running from a big pink cloud
And avoiding things that are scary or loud.
When I was young, you daren’t mess up
But now I guess we get to dress up?
Filed under Poems
Endings Are Overrated. Candles, Not So Much.
Lights are flickering.
Dire rain and wind give me
An excuse to post…
Filed under Poems
Six Years Old And Already Screaming About Stuff That Doesn’t Matter
Today I taught a first-grade class
And of the 18 kids
Six were joys, six were invisible,
And six blew off their lids.
So one of three will be successful
And one in three will be cute
And one in three do nothing, but loudly
Which is just who the Feds will recruit.
Filed under Poems
We’ve Come A Long Way Since 867-5309
The upside of the “6-7” trend
Is that it may show the unheralded end
Of kids saying “420-69”
Which makes me feel better than fine.
Filed under Poems
We’re Living In A Fairy Tale
Once, there were some evil kings
Who did a lot of evil things.
As times go, it was not pleasant.
Unfortunately, that time’s the present.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 