Tag Archives: New Year

New Year, New Ads

A week ago every TV ad

Showed deals on toys and tech.

Now the ads show deals

On food and weight loss. What the heck?

Oh, yeah! Because the year went up

It’s time to be a better you

And thanks to marketing execs

We’ll know just what to do:

Throw money at the products

That say you’ll have more time,

A slimmer waist and better feet

And less suburban crime.

You’ll save a baby elephant

If you buy our fancy knife

And thanks to free shipping (if you buy NOW)

You’ll live a better life.

I, for one, am grateful

To view these free educational shows.

Now excuse me while I lose some weight

And my magically regrows.

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After 2029 It’s “2020: Anniversary Edition”

Some people think this year will be bad

Because it comes after twenty-twenty

But that’s objectively untrue.

If you want to find an equal

Just realize they’ve scheduled a sequel

Every year ’til twenty-twenty nine

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The Perfunctory New Years Poem

I’m flummoxed to fathom

The bourgeois congregation

That congeals in Times Square

For the New Year’s celebration

While I would reconnoiter

To avoid such a populous crew.

If you’re a sympathetic introvert

You likely share my view.

Whilst others massed in public

I hibernated at chez moi.

It was an evening of simplicity

And I needn’t venture fa’.

And as I awoke this morning

A eureka I did hear.

Hence I’ve vowed to simplify

My vocabulary this year.


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Good Bye ‘Til Next Year, With Artificial Birds

Rubber chicken,

Plastic duck.

The year is over;

That’s just our luck.

Ceramic peacock,

Wooden goose.

Next year is nigh

So I must vamoose. 

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Better Travesties – Next Time

Next year I resolve

Not to write these dumb haikus.

Glad it’s still this year!

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One Poem A Day: How Hard Can It Be?

I’m looking forward

To 2016,

Less so to the time

That comes in between,

For when the New Year

Comes rolling in

You feel able

To do anythin’.

But in 2015,

As it is right now

I’m cranking out poems

And tending electric cows.

And so in two months

I’ll be out of this funk.

For now I’ve got ice cream.

Hope you enjoyed this junk.

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The Travesty Continues

Here it is: The final day.
The year that was will fade away.
With this poem I complete my goal
To write a poem a day, each somewhat droll.

And so completed, I look ahead
From the unfair comfort of my bed.
I feel happy and somewhat zen,
And I think I’ll do it all again!

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The Year So Far

‘Twas a short and hectic year
That crawled by a month at a time.
I ended most days with sleep
And started all with a rhyme.

I was unemployed for a while
After graduation,
But somehow I survived
And avoid flagellation.

I discovered the forbidden joys
Of anime and manga,
Continued doing improv,
And never lined a conga.

Now I work with Aflac,
With my days spent on the road,
But when I go to sleep at night
My shoulders lose a load

Because when I pull the covers
Over my weary head
I’m an undercover agent
Whom no government wants dead.

‘Twas a five-and-a-half stanza year.
Thanks for laughing with me here.

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What’s In A Name

Reflecting on the year that’s been
365 poems you have not seen,
A fact which seems, at least to me,
To lose the “daily” of the daily travesty.

So in the year to come I do resolve
To genuinely this problem solve.
So look for poems every day!
(If we’re lucky it will last ’til May).

Happy New Year, enjoy the show.
That’s one down, 364 to go…

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