The tree is up
The lights are hung
The gifts are wrapped
And stockings strung
The mistle’s toed
Now all I seek
Is to delay the music
For one more week.
Tag Archives: Music
Before They Were Famous
He may seem like a regular guy
But there’s something you don’t know:
There’s a secret god of rock and roll
Inside this Average Joe.
He can make a room of peasants dance
And blow the roof off nightly
But he also has to pay the bills
To not appear unsightly.
He’s a part-time rockstar with a full-time job,
An overdriven ax and a name tag (“Bob”).
He’s bohemian, rhapsodic, and his stairway to heaven
Just happens to start at the 7/11.
So next time you go out to purchase a slurpee
Just know that the guy who you pay
Might just be the someone you blast as you’re driving,
A new-age Bon Jovi someday,
And know that berating him ‘cause your burrito
Is stale is annoying and wrong
And he’ll write down your name so when he finds fame
Your behavior will be a hit song.
Filed under Poems
This Was The Song That Like Literally Defined My Childhood, You Know?
My car
Your dad
His car
My bad
It’s just
A flesh wound
New paint?
I’m doomed!
I’m coming to terms with what I just did
‘Cause I’m just a punk music 2000’s kid!
Hey dude
We’re good
I’m white
But I say “hood”
I can’t
Sing well
That’s why
I yell
All the songs I sing sound like Green Day did
‘Cause that’s the dream of every punk 2000’s kid!
(Nana na na… nana na, na, nana nana na) x9
…2000’s kid!
Filed under Poems
If It Works For Shakespeare, Why Not Rock?
We have so many electric guitars
And so many chimps in the zoo
And yet humankind
Has not had the mind
To try out combining the two…
Filed under Poems
But Where Do Beans And Maracas Factor In?
What if the key to all great things
Is eating rice and learning piano?
That’s why the asians are kicking our butts
And historically life’s been so-so?
What if, on the other hand, music and rice
Are a poison that slows down the mind
And they’re all that’s between Kwon-Jun
And leaving the rest of humanity behind?
Filed under Poems
Talent Shows
Bands will play their marches
And choirs sing their hymns
And jazzers swing their two-five-ones
And rockers take their stims
And orchestras will pizzicato
While dancers strike a pose
But what you just did on that stage
Managed to be none of those…
Filed under Poems
Road Trip With The Toddler
I am a goose
I like to honk
I am a goose
I like to honk
I am a goose
I like to honk honk honk
I am a mom
I want to die
Filed under Poems
Classical Music
You’re here to see a concert
And the first piece we will play
Is the thanking of the sponsors,
For although you had to pay
A decent sum of money
To come see our group perform
Without our corporate overlords
We’d not be able to form.
Thank you to the money guys
Who like this older stuff.
Now please prepare to give a hand
For another half an hour of fluff…
Filed under Poems
Genre-Dependent
Music is the universal language.
It can communicate to anyone at all
Things like “I have bad taste in music”
And “Girl, hop in! We’re going to the mall!”
Filed under Poems
And With That, The Silence Ended
Tomorrow is Christmas eve
And today’s the 16th day of Chanukah.
I am six years old today
And you bought me a harmonica!
Filed under Poems
