Tag Archives: Music

If You Think This Poem Rhymes You Probably Aren’t Rich

You can tell if someone’s more likely

To play basketball or the harp

By whether they write #F

Or instead they write F#

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Tonight: Shred Monkey (Ft. The Green Bay Packers)

When it comes to choosing my dream career

I’ve finally made a decision:

I’ve decided I want to be

A major league musician…

I want to be in a band so famous

They play quick football games during intermission.

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If I’d Written This Ten Years Ago I’d Be A Prophet

As Booth did to Lincoln

And school did to fun

I fear that to music

Will quite soon be done.

If you flip the radio

(Or whichever app’s in now)

You’ll find to enunciate

Is practically sin now.

To play any chords

Besides 1, 5, 6, and 4

Makes the average listener

Call such songs a snore

And no matter the genre

You will find bits of rap.

Yes I fear that all music

Will soon become crap.

Is there a solution

To pop music’s decline?

If so, leave a comment.

If not, I’ll just whine.

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Oh Sheet…

I started a band where we’d play

Stuff other folks played first. OK?

Then I did discover

Such a band’s called a Cover,

And thus I named our band “Duvet.”

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We Need A Common Enemy

I think the USA should change

Their national anthem to

Taylor Swift’s rendition of

“Look what you made me do.”

It would soothe racial tensions

And bring the unity we lack

‘Cause everyone would kneel

And beg the feds to change it back.

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…The Bass, That Is

My DJ name is “Other Shoe.”

I’m the cream of the DJ crop.

No matter what other DJs do

They wait for “Other Shoe” to drop…

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Ode To A Xylophone

Thirty-six to forty-eight

Bars of polished wood

Cut in a way that they vibrate

To play the note they should.

It isn’t quite a saxophone

If used to woo the fairer sex

But out from the crowd it has grown

Because its name starts with an X.

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Shucka-Shucka-Sucka! (Shucks?)

I once knew a Moroccan

Who thought that I was shockin’.

I gave him a shake

To see what sound he’d make

And he said “That’s a maraca, dumbass!”

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I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

I brought a dozen roses,

A diamond, and a kitten

To serenade by starlight

The lass with whom I’m smitten.

I sang “Every Breath You Take”

To my very special girl.

Then she locked me in her laser sights

And sang me “Goodbye Earl.”

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You Didn’t Eat Your Broccoli, Thus…

Satan wants to eat your soul for breakfast.

Yeah, that’s a thing that Satan wants to do.

His mouth’s already watering

At the prospect of slaughtering

That tasty human spirit that is you!

Satan wants to eat your soul for breakfast.

I heard him to his Mrs. Satan say

“Hey, why don’t you and me go

“Have some eggs and Human Ego

“As a nutritious snack to start the day!”

Satan has a hunch

That it’s too soon for lunch

And, by that logic, also too soon for dinner.

But they don’t sleep-in in Hell

And to start his day off well

You are the perfect portion size of sinner!

(Everybody)!

Satan wants to eat your soul for breakfast.

He wants to fill his belly with your Id.

I hope you’ve read your Dante

‘Cause you’re what Satan wants. Hey!

That’s what you get for being a naughty kid!

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