I studied some Spanish
And read a good book,
I exercised daily
And learned how to cook,
I got six pack abs
And I learned how to dance.
But I just can’t recall
What it’s like to wear pants…
Tag Archives: Poetry
The Purpose of a Bird
What is the purpose of a bird?
To fly? To eat? To breed?
Is its life a thing of choice
Or else of merely need?
If its purpose is to fly
But, hatching from its shell
Is born without the wings to fly
Can life be ever well?
If its purpose is to eat
But lacking seed or prey
Can the bird starve nobly
As nature has its way?
If its purpose is to breed
But has no living mate
Is the bird worthwhile still
Despite its desperate fate?
And what of birds within their egg
Afraid to face the light
For fear of life without a mate
Or lack of food or flight,
Who lay inside their egg, so warm,
Who never hurt or cry?
Are they blessed who never live
For they shall never die?
What is the purpose of a bird
Who cannot do a thing?
To live in stillness silently
Or else, perhaps, to sing.
Filed under Poems
The Chosen Pun
We’re locked in our houses
Away from the world,
Sanitizing ourselves
As our lives come unfurled.
As we wipe down possessions
The thing I don’t get
Is why “Spring Cleaning” jokes
Aren’t popular yet.
Filed under Poems
If You Don’t Think This Poem Is Ironic, You’re Part Of The Problem
There’s no place for intolerance
Among people I know.
If you’re someone intolerant
Then you had better go.
Intolerance is evil
And if you disagree
Then you should be ashamed
And also learn to think like me!
Filed under Poems
If You Want A Cure By February…
We’ve spent weeks in quarantine
And doubt is setting in.
Our leaders have ignored
The simplest way to win
This war against a virus.
We ask: Why haven’t they
Called Chuck Norris on the phone
To make it go away?
Filed under Poems
The Buck Stops Here
I’ve been working the suicide hotline
For the better part of a year
But when someone says
“I want to jump in front of a car”
I can’t help but say, “Oh deer!”
Filed under Poems
An Unexpected Goal
Somewhere there’s a recipe,
Solutions for your life,
A walkthrough to your victory,
An antidote to strife.
Today I build a fire
To light me on the trail
To find instead the recipe
Detailing how to fail.
If there is a flawless guide
Describing how to win
It cannot be of value
To those who look within.
To pass without a challenge
And to win what can’t be lost…
What value is a victory
Attained without a cost?
No master has deficiency;
No one has conquered failing.
My torch shines bright in search of plight.
Here’s hope for stormy sailing!
Filed under Poems
The Enemy of My Enemy
You might be afraid of tigers.
You might run away from a bear,
But when a spider on your ceiling
Can give you such a scare
Think of the microscopic guy
Who made the spider hide up there!
Filed under Poems
Sick Jokes Man!
Unlike aids, ebola, and most cancers of the spleen
People make a lot of jokes about Covid-19.
Maybe if we isolated people with a tumor
We’d find the situation full of all new types of humor?
Filed under Poems
Great White Privilege
There once was a great white shark
Who lived in an amusement park.
He liked to eat fish
And every day got his wish…
Bet things would be different if he were dark.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 