Zeus likes keeping animals
Behind enclosure walls.
Ares is the God of war,
And busts a lot of balls.
Uranus is an deity
Who you can always say is yours,
And when the thunder God gets chicken pox
He becomes covered in Thors.
Muslims think that poultry
Is an animal about which to sing,
Because they worship Allah,
And with chicken Allah’s king.
Filed under Poems
I said I’d return to my blog today,
This 30th day of September.
I’m tired, and I’d rather be sleeping right now,
But commitment I need to remember.
And remember indeed I do.
I remember a commitment I made back in May:
I killed a man to to write on this blog on schedule,
And to jail I was committed the next day.
Filed under Poems
Dear readers, I am sad to say
(Not actually, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this, but pretend it’s a genuine concern)
That commencing tomorrow until this Sunday
(Unless I decide to start earlier, in which case please disregard this post altogether)
I will put on hiatus these travestays
(For sake of the rhyme, spelling may have been altered)
‘Cause I’m tired, and could really use a va-
(You know what comes next).
Hope you understand, and I’ll be back in the plural of day.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Think back to your birth, whenever that was.
You cannot remember it, so I’ll help.
You came into this world in blood, because
That’s how nature works, and you gave a yelp.
You were spanked by a doctor, and you cried.
Most people were suitably indifferent.
But if not for hurtful things, you’d have died.
Now I hope that, to you, life looks different.
Every person in your world’s a doctor.
They hurt you, and pull you from your mother.
But all of them, life to you do proctor;
Treat them not badly, but as a brother
Life comes in many forms to us, so smile.
Joy lasts forever, pain but for a while.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Today’s my birthday.
I don’t feel like writing much.
Thus, this haiku post.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
The trees turn gold,
The leaves turn orange.
A girl named Autumn
Walks through fields of cornge.
Her shoes are brown.
Her dress is silver.
She is planning a burglary.
She expects to pilfer.
She breaks into a farmhouse,
The queen of thieves.
She takes many treasures,
Then Autumn leaves.
Filed under Poems
,kcolb s’retirw evah I syad emoS
.hturt eht si tahT
,hguoht smeop tsop llits I
.htuocnu semitemos er’yeht hguohT
meop siht etirw I yadot woN
.esruoc fo, sdrawkcaB
.ti daer nac uoy epoh I
.esroh a no m’I
Filed under Poems
‘Twas a misty night, and Watson
Accompanied by Sherlock Holmes,
Pitched their tent under the stars
And went where dreams do roams.
A couple hours later,
Sherlock shook his friend awake.
He said, “Watson, look above you,
And tell me what observation you can make.”
Watson looked above him
And saw millions of stars.
“If there’s millions of stars above us,
Maybe there are planets with life, like ours.”
Sherlock sighed, annoyed,
And into the woods he went.
“Where are you going?” Watson shouted.
Holmes replied, “To find our tent.”
Filed under Poems
My name’s Lashawn,
And I ain’t funny.
I think animals are cute:
I have a pet bunny.
I named it rabbit,
‘Cause that’s accurate.
I don’t hit people with chairs.
Instead, in them I sit.
If you pick a fight with me
On a moonless Autumn night,
I’ve got a serious advantage
‘Cause I blend in with darkness (I’m not white).
I believe in doing things
Without a sense of humor.
If you don’t find this funny ’cause it’s racially insensitive,
I hope you get a tumor.
Word.
Filed under Poems
I sit in a dark room, combing my hair.
I apply shadows to my eyes.
I wear a gown of vermillion, and sip the air
As to my feet I rise.
My nails are as red as an infants blood,
And tear drops dot the room.
I gaze at myself in the mirror.
My God, I’m a sexy groom.
Filed under Poems
