Shelly shivers several shivers
By the side of the seashore.
She sees the sheen of seal-shaped seashells.
(A scene unforeseen for sure).
She’s a shy shaking searcher,
Seeking several shining shells,
‘Cause she sure supports herself
Through seal-shaped seashells she sure sells.
Tag Archives: Poetry
Read This Poem… I Dare You
The Most Dangerous Game
Someone once asked, “What would be more dangerous: Slapping a bear on the face, or slapping an elk on the chest?” May this poem be your answer.
If you slap a bear across the face
It will probably break your bones.
It will maul you, bruise you, make you bleed,
And smash your freakin’ phone!
But if you slap an elk across the chest
It will more than end your life,
‘Cause that elk knows where you live,
And he’ll kidnap your wife.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Filed under Poems
Pickup Poem
If you share a room your are roommates.
Two witches, they are broom mates.
Two husbands might be groom mates,
And mass graves make for tomb mates.
Two buddies in Australia
Are just plain mates, it’s true.
But we don’t need those titles.
I just want to mate with you.
Filed under Poems
For Boston
Sticks and stones
May shatter bones.
Steel tears hearts asunder.
Smoke and fire
Are the devil’s choir,
Who’s songs are mankind’s blunder.
But through the violence
And moments of silence
We make a noble choice:
We remember those
Slain by our foes.
We carry on their voice.
So bombings and such,
Our fears they touch,
But our hope cannot be shattered.
Toll Heaven’s bell
For those who fell,
And remember that they mattered.
Flying Time
There comes a time,
From time to time,
When time passes too quickly.
Through times of joys
For girls and boys,
But not times that are sickly.
So I ask time
Just one more time
“Must you fly when we’re having fun?”
And in a timely way
Time did say
“I don’t if your joy’s never done.”
Filed under Poems
Sex
Sex is a service.
It takes lots of work,
But it’s a pretty good job
With its fair share of perks.
Sometimes it’s hard,
(And we hope that it is).
It needs some of hers,
And it needs some of his.
Filed under Poems
Nice Guys
When I step on a rug, I always say “I’m sorry.”
I try to good, to warm instead of frost.
Because the world is a jungle, a wild safari,
And sometimes the nice guys get lost.
But the one thing we navigate in this wide, scary world
Is the bedroom, where seldom nice guys are outclassed,
For to the women who look past our impishness is unfurled
The fact that nice guys always finish last.
Filed under Poems
P.H.I.L-osophy
I believe not so much in theology.
I have very little interest in geology.
But I do have a very unique philosopy,
And I’d like to share it with you.
I call this philosophy, appropriately, “Phil,”
For that is an acronym of the initials
Or the four central pillars, make of them what you will:
I hope they will apply to you.
P is for positive,
Which is often a pain.
It means to refrain
When you’d like to complain.
When you want to criticize, simply abstain,
And you’ve mastered the first part of “Phil.”
H is for happiness,
Which is no more than a choice.
When the world offers bad things, listen not to the voice
Which would make you be said, but instead make the choice
To be happy, and you’ve mastered more “Phil.”
I’s for integrity,
A hard word to rhyme.
It means to be honest, and refrain from crime.
Do what’s right, even if it’s hard, and do so every time,
And you’re almost done mastering “Phil.”
And L is for love.
It’s predictable, yes.
It’s very important, or so I should guess.
Everyone loves someone, or something, to death;
Love everyone like them, whether Elmer or Tess.
And thus, we finish Phil.
Choose to be positive, and give folks a chance.
Choose to be happy, regardless of circumstance.
Say what is honest and do what is right,
And love every person. That is “Phil.” Good night!
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
My (Almost) Big News!
Yesterday, an amazing thing
Almost happened to moi!
As the French would say, I almost was part
Of a menage-a-troi.
I was missing only one small thing
When all was said and done.
But I didn’t mind. I found it fine,
My little menage-a-one.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Haiku: Do’s and Don’t’s
This is a haiku.
Seven syllables this line.
First and last have five.
This haiku is bad.
Do not write one that’s like this.
That would be a mistake.
Filed under Poems
