I’m a musician in Washington state.
Governor Inslee extended the date
Of the “Stay home, stay safe” order,
Banning two months of shows.
How I’ll make those 12 bucks back, nobody knows…
Tag Archives: Short
I Was So Upset, I Didn’t Even Write the Next 2.5 Stanzas!
A man sold me some wood the other day.
He said “This is the best you’ll ever get.”
But when I set the wood on fire I saw
Cars painted on the sides, and knew ’twas shit.
Filed under Poems
Pers…omething?
Sometimes I think I’m a genius,
The zenith of human existence,
But then I give up to early
Because I can’t think of an appropriate word…
Filed under Poems
Polar Bear Illiteracy Kills
A polar bear showed up today
Covered in blood, he smiled: “Hey!”
Think of why. What’s that? You can’t, huh?
Maybe it was ’cause I mentioned “Mall Santa…”
This poem was intended for December, but apparently you can’t schedule a post that far in advance. Just don’t read this for 270 days, ok?
Filed under Poems
How To Do A Day’s Work In 60 Seconds Or Less
If anyone ever says
“Speed matters more than quality”
Show ’em this poem
‘Cause that’ll show ’em!
Filed under Poems
The Buck Stops Here
I’ve been working the suicide hotline
For the better part of a year
But when someone says
“I want to jump in front of a car”
I can’t help but say, “Oh deer!”
Filed under Poems
The Enemy of My Enemy
You might be afraid of tigers.
You might run away from a bear,
But when a spider on your ceiling
Can give you such a scare
Think of the microscopic guy
Who made the spider hide up there!
Filed under Poems
Sick Jokes Man!
Unlike aids, ebola, and most cancers of the spleen
People make a lot of jokes about Covid-19.
Maybe if we isolated people with a tumor
We’d find the situation full of all new types of humor?
Filed under Poems
Great White Privilege
There once was a great white shark
Who lived in an amusement park.
He liked to eat fish
And every day got his wish…
Bet things would be different if he were dark.
Filed under Poems
Somebody’s Gonna Feel Butt-Hurt
Today you might feel sad
But you’re still better off than the guy
Who bought 90 rolls of toilet paper
Then found out it’s all single-ply.
Filed under Poems
