Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
TP is white
And I’ve got some for you!
Tag Archives: Short
The Right Answer Is Not Always Correct
“You have sixteen melons
“And I take ten away.
“What do you have left?”
Just this gun and newfound prey…
Filed under Poems
Thanks Google!
I asked my Dad, “Before computers
“When you were bored what did you do?”
He wouldn’t say, and none of my sixteen
Brothers and sisters knew.
Filed under Poems
Two Types of Difficulty
Is it harder to be a single mom
Made pregnant at eleven
Or to be a single mom
When you’re a childless man at 87?
Filed under Poems
Economics 101
I was almost bankrupt
But rather than admit defeat
I missed a few car payments
And boom! I’m back on my feet!
Filed under Poems
People Say “Forever” In Different Ways
If you think your girl is nerdy
But you need to check the facts
Say “I’ll love you as long as a winRAR 30-day trial”
And see how she reacts.
Filed under Poems
Wardrobe Malfunction
Yesterday I was responsible:
Got dressed, and went to work.
Just ’cause I mixed the order up
Doesn’t mean I’m a jerk…
Filed under Poems
Math Anxiety
My teacher asks “What’s the square root of nine?”
I say the answer is three.
The girlfriend asks “What’s the value of X”
And I say “She means nothing to me!”
Filed under Poems
Weird Pets and the Poet That Jokes About Them
I found a pet I like to rub.
I brought it home and named it club.
Now folks aren’t sure how they should feel
After they learn my pet’s a seal.
——————————————————–
I wanted to buy a unique pet
Like a hedgehog from the store.
I asked how to tell the girls from the boys.
“The boys have one spike more.”
——————————————————–
The hunter said, “Look! A lesbian bear!
“Grab a rifle and go get her!”
I asked how to tell it’s a lesbian bear;
“They’ll eat snakes, but they like beavers better.”
Filed under Poems
Invertebrates and “Whatever You Want”ers Beware
Whether people treat you badly
Or whether they treat you fine
Is directly correlated
To your possession of a spine.
Filed under Poems
