If you ever feel inferior
Be glad it’s not your fate
To be one of the walls in China
That never will be great.
Tag Archives: Short
Except They’d All Start Bullying The Dog Because She’s Cute And Blonde…
I think we need an Air Bud sequel
Where the dog plays in the WNBA.
It would bring recognition to the league
And the dog winning makes sense that way.
Filed under Poems
Haiku for my Sister-In-Law
I have zero friends
Because other people suck
And I’m funnier
Filed under Poems
Perfectionism
Sunny Summer day
Fluffy clouds and gentle breeze
Now I’m way too tan
Filed under Poems
Cause and Effect
Birthday cake is good.
Every day someone is born.
Ergo: I am fat.
Filed under Poems
News I Learned From Memes Interpreted As A Haiku Because Thursday
Trump’s on Epstein’s list.
Someone’s gun went boom too soon.
England’s a hellhole.
Filed under Poems
My Favorite Superhero
We’ve got people addicted to drugs,
Alcohol, porn, and their phones
Yet my cat hears someone say “pspspspsps”
And just feels content deep in his bones.
Filed under Poems
Cosmic Injustice
Mercury has thermometers.
Venus has carnivorous plants.
Mars has chocolate candy
But Earth gets freakin’ ants?!
Filed under Poems
Frodo’s Notes In The Margin
“Bring the ring to Mordor, kid”
Gandalf told me and so I did.
It caused me scars that forever linger,
Mostly that I can’t give Gandalf the finger.
Filed under Poems
Thanks, Millennials
If you’d like a hamburger
It only costs a dollar.
If you want cheese on it
It’ll cost you dollars two.
Want to add some bacon?
That’s two dollars fifty.
Want some avacado?
Your firstborn kid will do.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 