Yesterday
All my motivation went away
Now I’m writing you this poem today,
A parody
Of yesterday.
Tag Archives: Short
What? You’re Not Immediately Buying My Books? I Guess The Stock Music And Multiracial Couples From The TV Do Something After All…
There once was a guy and his dog
And they read limericks on a blog.
Now he’s married to a hotty
And he drives a bugatti
And he owns a sweet mansion in Prague.
Filed under Poems
How I Don’t Miss It
There once was a prospective miss
Who offered a lackluster kiss.
I just stood there thinking
“I could’ve gone drinking
“Yet I ironed my shirt just for this?”
Filed under Poems
Billionaire Dads Be Like
“Daddy, I want a spaceship”
Were the last words my son said
Before I gave him a spaceship
And sent him off to bed.
Filed under Poems
I Miss The Good Old Days… 2015
There once was a man from Ohio
Who didn’t put pronouns in his bio.
He works hard and makes money
And he married his honey
And why can’t this be status quo?
Filed under Poems
Alohahaha
If I take off my Hawaiian shirt
You may think I intend to flirt
But when the Hawaiian pants come off…
Hey, wait a sec! Did you just scoff?
Filed under Poems
Oh Wait… That’s Youtube
Instead of another reality show
Where half-naked people live in the wood
A show where people make huge pillow forts
Would do us a whole lot of good.
Filed under Poems
I’d Get Arrested In Europe For Writing This…
There once was an American leader
Whose mind was starting to peter.
He said “Easter’s the day
“Where we normalize gay”
And some people still think this ain’t theater.
Filed under Poems
Life Hacks
If at first you don’t succeed
Just open Word and type in “Nead”.
Autocorrect will fix everything.
You’re welcome y’all. Yours truly, King
Filed under Poems
Yay Vegas?
Tomorrow I’ll wake up at five in the morning
And sit in a cramped airplane seat
To fly to a place where sinning is rampant
And I’ll probably melt in the heat.
I’m very excited and honored and blessed
And I don’t want to sound like a jerk
But I feel I’ve been lied to when somebody said
“It’s great when you travel for work.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 