In 1999 the Matrix took the red pill.
In 2012, the Avengers were assembled.
In 2025 we’ll get the fifth Fantastic Four.
And now you understand just why I trembled.
Tag Archives: Stupid
Your Tax Dollars At Work #7,419
Before every movie you watch
There’s an FBI warning and on it
Is a message that vows either prison or fines
If you copy the movie and pawn it.
Meanwhile, in 38 states
Shoplifting a movie is legal.
I think it’s time the the FBI bird
Was replaced by a drunk cross-eyed seagull.
Filed under Poems
Turns Out The Genie Only Grants Two Wishes…
I hope that before I die
I’ll fart one million times.
That or curing cancer…
Or maybe writing rhymes?
Filed under Poems
Oh No! Now My Privacy Is Auctioned Off By A Monopolistic Corporate Super Power? But Now I Won’t See Ads For Things I Whisper Within Earshot Of My Fridge!
Now Google Chrome apparently
Is blocking third-party cookies
So companies have to pay them
To earn the user clicks and lookies.
People are acting like this is bad,
As if personalized ads were good…
But people are optimistic about the election
So I guess they probably would.
Filed under Poems
What Boomers And Gen Z Agree On
I paid a lot of money
To see Bingo balls go “whir”
At the place I lost my savings
And the waitress called me “sir”.
It’s worth it for the privilege
Of putting five things in a line
And laughing with the others when
They call “I 69”.
Filed under Poems
Proverbs For The Modern Age
Do not stand between a man
Who’s running and a bathroom.
Do not wear a pair of pants
With insufficient calf room.
Those who want to sell you crap
Will first tell you “Hello.”
If you’re out of shampoo
Do not substitute Jello
Filed under Poems
Millennial Fantasies
Sometimes when I’m feeling blue
I try a little trick
Where I think I’m a Pokemon
Who’s very, very sick
And instead of going to my job
I go to the free healthcare place
And the happy nurse makes me feel better.
Then I punch my boss’s face.
Filed under Poems
After EVs, What’s Next?
Someday in the future
Ours cars will be a dream:
We’ll make them half the weight and cost
Of today’s driving machine.
They’ll have less wear on tires
And do less harm to the roads,
Go four times as far in rain or shine
And haul heavier loads.
They’ll recharge themselves in minutes
And use only renewable power.
We’ll call them “Gasoline powered”.
Just my thoughts from the shower…
Filed under Poems
The Master Will Go Now
The fact that thrice you mentioned
That you don’t care about corn Jimmy cracks
Makes me think that your indifference
Is facade instead of facts.
Filed under Poems
The White Guy Equivalent Is “Orr and Stafford”
Which Mexican guy is a sailor?:
Señor Gonzalez or Señor Cruz?
Well, Gonzalez does the actual sailing…
Cruz just crew the cruise.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 