Tag Archives: Surveillance

When Big Brother Is Ignoring You

If you, dear reader, aren’t aware

Of government surveillance

Then you really ought to know

That the FBI

and CIA

Have a list of words like so:

If you write gun

Or bomb or kill

Or terrorism in an email

You’ll be on

Their list to watch

Whether or not you’re female.

If you write

Assassinate,

Anarchy, or Iran

Then your social media page

Will probably get a scan.

I tell you of

This fact because

My blog needs to get more views.

You’ll know if it

Worked out okay

When my arrest is on the news.

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Big Brother Doesn’t Want To See That!

Sometimes it feels like I’m being watched

By malevolent eyes in in some way.

Then I take off my shirt and pop pimples

And the feeling usually goes away.

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Look My Way, Mr. NSA

At first I was unnerved
By the thought of being observed.
But no longer do I utter groans.
Just think! A lass like me
Could help U.S. Security!
I smile at the very thought of drones.

They read my email and spam,
And when I’m on my webcam
I always throw those patriots a wink,
And if at night they watch
Some lucky guy might spy my crotch.
They give my life a gigabyte of kink!

So if you’re paranoid
You need not be annoyed
That big brother’s got his eyes on you.
Instead, it would be wise
To pity all the spies
Who have to watch the boring s*** you do.

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