I like you
Like a hairdryer loves a bath,
Like an ax loves a tree,
Like GPAs love math,
Like Clintons love snitches,
Like Windows likes working,
But I still think it’s weird
Netflix likes children twerking.
Tag Archives: Topical
The Shape Of Water
Last year the guys in Hollywood
Passed on the script I submitted
Wherein a disabled janitor
Masturbates and gets her throat slitted.
Now the very same movie
Wins the Oscar for picture, best.
If only I’d introduced a lizard love-interest…
It’s all in the details, I guess!
Was There Ever A President Hank? ‘Cause That Window’s Probably Closing…
Today’s the day we celebrate
The presidents half of us hate,
The two or three good ones we got
And the fifty-some we all forgot.
We do not have gifts or a meal.
There is no spirit that we feel,
But it’s a day off so we thank
George and Abe and prob’ly a Hank.
Filed under Poems
At The Butcher
Everybody’s yelling
About Nazis, hate, and Trump
And I’m just giggling to myself
‘Cause somebody said “rump.”
Filed under Poems
I Realized Recently That I Have Been Writing Very Short Poems With Extremely Long Titles, And I’d Just Like To Say That After Today That Won’t Happen Anymore… Probably
I’m just sayin’.
Feel free to weigh in.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Taking Comfort Where You Can
On a day like today
You’re looking for a sign
That despite the past disasters
Everything will be fine.
Well as I sat, considering
My poem for today
I saw a candy cane, uneaten.
That makes me think I’ll be okay.
Filed under Poems
It Works For Both Parties
A hangdog and a long-faced horse
Walked into a bar.
A few hours later they both walked home
‘Cause they didn’t own a car.
They didn’t much enjoy themselves
Nor change their sorry fate.
But it was fun compared to
Watching the GOP debate.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 