“Chickens don’t believe in God
“So chickens go to Hell.”
That’s what Grandma told me
And so far it’s served me well.
Tag Archives: Weird
The Splatterpainted-Red-Canvas of Poetry, Expressed Through The Mediums of Brownish Colors, [Theoretically] Edible Birds, and Leavened Grain Objects, Vol.13, AKA Sundays
Beige chicken wonder bread!
Boredom flowing through my head.
Tan turkey whole wheat toast!
Today’s a better day than most.
Brown ostriche gluten free!
That’s a day that’s right for me.
Ochre phoenix sourdough!
Now it’s time for me to go.
(Semi-related food for thought: what would happen if you ate a phoenix)?
Filed under Poems
Weird Bob Gets Dumped
Fish don’t sweat
And cars don’t bleed.
Plants don’t poop
And dogs don’t read.
Knives don’t smile
And rocks don’t get lither.
Why should she care
If I don’t do that stuff either?
Filed under Poems
Pulitzer Bait
What in the sheltered blue of dawn
Was in the sunlight brown as fawn
Turned reddish bronze in ochre night
And yellow in the Summer’s flight.
The spectrum warranted by such
Invoked in hearts a feeling much
As was supposed in rumor and buzz
That no one knew just what it was.
Opaqueness faded into clear
As people gathered far and near
To gaze on the whatever thing
Until the spoken truth would ring.
Alas as stanzas came and went,
The verses writ and meter bent
It soon was clear that even I,
The poet, could not identify
Just what in sheltered blue of dawn
Would visably change as all looked on.
This ending fixed inside my head
I thought of a rhyme and went to bed.
Filed under Poems
The Newest Gender Identity
Under the apple tree
You are you, I am me.
We can hug and kiss all day
And never hear the others say
“Why are you kissing that horse?”
They don’t understand of course
But under the apple tree… well, there
No one ever seems to care.
Filed under Poems
Not For You And Me
Grew up in a place
Wouldn’t know
Where pronouns have no place
Or so said so.
Before call something
Might regret later
Know that shouldn’t
Be a hater.
Filed under Poems
Why I Love Baseball
“Batter Up!” The umpire yelled,
And then he screamed in fright
As the crowd smeared uncooked pancakes on themselves
And ran off into the night.
Filed under Poems
The Wife And Mr. Chicken
No one warms my heart like you do,
For three minutes on medium heat.
Our families and neighbors judge us harshly
But I’m glad, to you, I’m just a piece of meat.
Filed under Poems
One Does Not
Slap a chicken with a fish-
You may do that if you wish.
Put a baby in a pot-
Sure you can, or maybe not.
Eat raw eggs and bacon too-
I probably wouldn’t, but I’m not you.
There’s but one act that’s out of order:
Simply walking into Mordor.
Filed under Poems
Life
Life is an event
That happens to us all.
Some lives end in greatness
While others are extras
In a George Lucas story.
As for me…
I’m a rebel poet,
The greatest George Lucas extra
Who ever got too tired to rhyme.
You only get one life to take for granted;
Don’t waste the opportunity.
Filed under Poems
