Tag Archives: Gender

A Haiku For All 92 Genders (According To Wikipedia)


Abinary means

That you aren’t male or female…

Off to a good start?


Cancel me, but why

Doesn’t this invalidate

The whole “spectrum” thing?


Like “androgynous”

But for those who want to sound

Like a fashion brand


Gender-neutral look

And an old Greek baby name

Meaning “Poorly Dressed”



Didn’t even dignify

This with its own page


Philippino guys

Who dress up and act like girls,

Unlike baklava.


Large person who starred

In a bad sci-fi movie…

Oops! I read that wrong


Male or female folks

Who will not get scholarships

Unless very poor


Indonesian stuff

I just skimmed the article

‘Cause I have a life


These are lesbians

That they don’t make pornos with.

They like ugly shoes


More Indonesia

I lumped these two into one

‘Cause I do not care


Battle droid gender

Fought against the clone army

Nerds will understand


People who agree

That their genitalia

Show what sex they are

Cis Female

Yes, apparently

This is its own separate thing?

A favorite of mine

Cis Male

Gender study peeps,

Let I take this time to say

You need to relax

Cis Man

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Chuck Norris, Sean Connery,

And your girlfriend’s dad

Cis Woman

We’re only on “C”

And this post already seems

Like a huge mistake


Superhero film

Disney will release next year

Tell me I’m not wrong


Don’t take Demiflux

If you are allergic or

Can define “Bakla”


When your gender vibes

Aren’t strong, but you’ll still sue folks

Who use wrong pronouns


I don’t want to know!

Will this suffering not end?

(Demi-boy sequel?)


When a demi-girl

Is cool, like a friend, you know?

Not like other gals.


I’m just thinking how

If you take the hyphens out

Do these genders change?

Dual Gender

When you wield a sex

In both hands, unlike the guys

With a shield in one


Walkin’ down the street.

The kind I don’t like to meet.

I don’t believe you.


You have private parts

Other people cannot mock,

But only one set.


Good, old fashioned girls!

No Demis required here

Except Demi Moore

Female to Male

Like Male to Female

But without the extra perk

Of winning at sports


Here’s the lesbians

Everybody knows and loves

With long hair/good shoes


So I guess this means

Contractions are genders now?


Gender Bender

Here I thought “GB”


Stood for “Great Britain”…

Gender Diverse

When you’re a black chick

Still denied a scholarship.

Hail Mary, yo!

Gender Gifted

Here it is! They made

A participation prize

For being human


That stuff in the bed

That gets on the sheets after

You have hot… gender.


Like a tongue twister

For pretentious cross-dressers.

But wait! It gets worse!


I am not kidding.

This is actually a thing

On the internet


For agender folks

Who’re offended by the phrase

“Straight A’s”. Am I right?

Gender Nonconforming

Remember when goths

Were the edgy kids in town?

Ah, the good old days!


For when the word “fag”

Isn’t offensive enough

So you upped the stakes.

Gender Questioning

Proof that there’s such thing

As dumb questions after all.

Isn’t two enough?

Gender Variant

I just had a stroke

Reading Wikipedia.

Does that mean I’m gay?


When you realize

Beige-gender’s too exciting

So you tone it down.


Fascinating how

There’s a billion ways to say

“Not a girl or boy”


All the Thailand memes…

All the girls with extra oomph…

Our next president…


The sound that is made

When Godzilla has to sneeze

But covers his face


A carnival game

Where if you pronounce it right

You win a rainbow


Patriarchal bums

Holding up society

But not hard enough

Male to Female

Just like other girls

But better at sports, plus no

“That time of the month”


Man of Trans Experience

Is this akin to

“African American”

And yet more PC?


That one X-Men kid

Who the other mutant kids

Beat up after class


Think of all the folks

Whose initials got usurped

Just like women’s sports


The Swiss army knife

Of gender dysmorphia

So handy, I guess?


The generic form

Of the brand-name Mucinex…

LOTS of side effects!


Hmph. No boy. No girl.

Me no likey gender words.

Or words at all. Ugh.


When your sex organ

Is your brain, not genitals.

Too bad it’s broken


Just when you thought France

Was already gay enough…

Voila! C’est neutrois!


At least this gender

Makes the ballot in most states,

Like the green party

Non-Binary Transgender

When you’re so convinced

Your gender does not exist

You need surgery


The title granted

To those who have memorized

This entire list


For when you read through

Ever-growing gender lists

But still can’t decide


Some nicknames include:

“Pot head”, “Small fry”, “Pan Handler”

Good at cooking though


The only gender

Who like white Americans…

They wanna cracker

Person of Transgendered Experience

These do not exist.

They are like a unicorn

(Although not as cute)

Third Gender

For the people who

Have third eyes, third boobs, and such.

I’d rate 3/5



Has twenty subgroups of these

I’m too tired to care


This blog’s fav so far!

Basically Brazilian gay

Please son’t think too hard


When you finish math

That has triangles and crap.

Get it? Trig ender?


Folks who get turned-on

By sequels of horse movies

From 2002


Someone who avoids

The guy who wrote these haikus

Except for that one…

Woman of Trans Experience

I should not have done

This stupid haiku challenge

But it still gets worse…


The preferred gender

Of those who date Taylor Swift

Horizontal lines


The pain’s over now;

I can live my life again.

Also, this exists.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Haiku: When Someone Tells Me There Are More Than 2 Genders

Ha ha ha ha ha,

Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha.

Wait, there’s more… (pause)… Ha.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Least Surprising Story Ever

The gender-neutral pronoun

In the english tongue is “he”

According to the Chicago Manual of Style.

A person on the internet

Disagreed with me.

He was a vegan 49ers fan named Kyle.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Yes, I Was Playing White

I played a game of chess today

With a lass from West L.A.

I pinned her king and said “Checkmate,”

But West L.A demanded “Wait!”

She pointed out that I had doomed

A king whose gender I’d assumed

And what my small mind hadn’t seen

Was that I had trapped her second queen.

Having no method now to win

I concluded she had done me in.

Now the world can only guess:

Why don’t more lesbians play chess?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Thanks State-Funded Early Childhood Education!

I read my child the story

Of a little red poultry whom

I respect, thus its female genitalia

Did not cause me its gender to assume.

My child looked up and said “Parent,

“I like when you do funny voices

“But why can’t we read about princesses

“Then make our own damn political choices?”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

That’s Pronounced “She-it”

Apparently my teachers were wrong

And there aren’t boys and girls.

Turns out gender is “representational,”

Or so the new story unfurls.

Seeing that sex doesn’t matter

To whether you’re he, she, or other

I think we need a singular pronoun

That applies equally to one another.

In the past we were male and female

And likewise called he or she.

Apparently the gender-neutral

Is also important, so they tell me.

So I have an unbiased option

To represent them, me, and you:

We can just say humans are SHeIt.

It has all three pronouns, and also is true!


Filed under Poems

Support For The 58* Genders?

If you’ve got a gender

And that gender is Agender

Than an Agender gender

Is the gender that you’ve got,

But if you think non-cis is nonsense

And you don’t buy into bi

Then things which you are thinking

May be different than you thought.

There’s a rift between androgyny,

Pangender folks, and the FTM.

You may think that there’s no difference

Between trans-males and trans-men,

Or that trans-ness is divided

Down the trans-two-gender line

When in fact the trans-varieties

Number nearly twenty-nine!

If your creed denies this credence

You’ll be supported a few more years,

But if the “miss” in “miscelaneous”

Offends you, have no fears;

If you identify as other

But don’t like “other” as your name

Then nonconforming, variant, or non-binary

Are semi-synonyms for you to claim.

And if you want to carve your identity

In history’s hallowed halls

Invent your own custom gender now.

(May I suggest: No-balls?)

And make the list grow larger

Than the current 58

And you can show the establishment

That you don’t want America to again be great! 

*Subject to change

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Why I’m No Longer A Gender Studies Major


Always the more

Seldom the -ible

But often the horr-

Too much conniption

For such a poor fit

This new lack of him/her

Well, I’m tired of it

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Newest Gender Identity

Under the apple tree

You are you, I am me.

We can hug and kiss all day

And never hear the others say

“Why are you kissing that horse?”

They don’t understand of course

But under the apple tree… well, there

No one ever seems to care.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Tag, Circa 2016

I used to think the male gender,

Was a role in which I fit.

I was happy being “he”

Until they said “you’re it.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems