I’ve played the trombone
Since I was eight-years-old.
“No one loves trombonists”
I’ve frequently been told.
Despite this I persisted
With an empty heart and bed,
But now I think I’ve had enough.
I’ll play the accordian instead.
Category Archives: Poems
Who Needs An Angel When You Already Have Halo ™?
It’s Sunday evening.
I’m alone
With no new numbers
In my phone.
But don’t you dare
Feel sorry for me!
My night may be dull,
But at least it’s free.
Filed under Poems
Last Chance!
To those of you
Who’ve found a love,
Or maybe just a date,
Tomorrow you’ll
Have happiness
From early until late.
For those like me
Who are alone,
Why are you still reading this?
You’ve still got
Some hours left!
Find something not-too-gross to kiss!
Filed under Poems
The Don’s Last Trust Fall
I’m a confident man
But sometimes I think,
“Maybe I’m wrong.”
“Maybe I’ll sink.”
Then I listen to the river
And I do what I must;
What’s the weight of lead shoes
Next to the strength of our trust?
Filed under Poems
Four Percent of Poetry Readers Will Understand This Poem – Stanza Six Will Shock You!
Hey honey bunny,
Maybe you can help me?
I’m trying to think of a rhyme.
I need a word that means “nectar”
That rhymes with “rabbit.”
I’ve thought about it for a long time…
Filed under Poems
It Was A Wednesday Morning
It was 9:00 AM
Then I turned the Youtube on.
Now it’s Saturday.
Filed under Poems
Tag, Circa 2016
I used to think the male gender,
Was a role in which I fit.
I was happy being “he”
Until they said “you’re it.”
Filed under Poems
For Those Who Can’t Wait, There’s Always Wrestling
Today’s a unique day
When tens of millions of men
Are depressed as they begin waiting
To see men in tight pants fighting again.
Filed under Poems
My Superbowl Ad
If this poem were a commercial
Worth four million dollars
It would be filled with puppies
Running free without collars,
Their tongues in fluid motion
Lapping up a river of beer
As a celebrity drives an empty road
While shedding a single tear.
A song would fill the background,
Upbeat, with finger snaps
Sung by a choir homeless children
Wearing “Panthers 2016” caps.
It would have repeated dialogue.
It would have a big impact.
It would be better than what we actually saw,
And that would be a fact.
Filed under Poems
The Guy On Your International Flight
Open, gaping maw
Swallowing my will to live.
When will you shut up?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 