If you ask guests at a restaurant
“Would you like to try the lamb?”
They might say “yes”, or maybe “no”,
Or “I don’t give a damn.”
But if you ask those same guests
If they prefer starfish tartar
You’ll find them much more likely
To prefer the lamb by far.
Filed under Poems
I can accept our world is being run
By faceless corporations
Who choose political puppets
To fulfill their machinations,
That we, the proletariat,
Cannot escape this iron grip
But why do they always pick old white dudes
And not hot girls? What a gyp!
Filed under Poems
Just stand here and look around
And see the zombies, hear the sound…
You’ll be ok. The only failing
Is if you trip over the railing.
Filed under Poems
True story: I was curious about how ChatGPT accesses websites or uploaded information to imitate the style of a particular writer. Thinking myself as an unknown, I did an experiment, asking it to “Write a poem in the style of a post from thedailytravesty.com”.
To my delight and horror, it actually nailed it!
Here’s what it gave me:
In a world of whimsy and satire,
Where absurdity sets hearts on fire.
TheDailyTravesty, a realm so wild,
Where laughter reigns, a mischievous child.
A headline screams in bold font,
“Potato UFOs invade Vermont!”
With spuds in spacesuits, a cosmic twist,
Satirical tales, impossible to resist.
Politicians dance in a jester’s jig
As pundits ponder, their brains do dig.
A carnival of words, a linguistic spree,
TheDailyTravesty, where all is free.
Unicorns debate economic strife,
While Bigfoot hosts a talk show rife.
Conspiracies thrive in comic glee,
A kaleidoscope of absurdity.
Aliens pen op-eds on earthly trends,
Sasquatch critiques the latest fashion blends.
Oh, the whimsical world of satire’s delight,
Where reality takes an ironic flight.
So, visit the site, let laughter soar,
TheDailyTravesty, forevermore.
In a realm of humor, where jesters play,
A post-a-day keeps the gloom away.
Filed under Poems
Sammeeches are yummiyums
And cheekens good in bellies
And I like grapes and appleswoss
And chocolate-caramellies.
I can eat twenty tootsie rollups
And an asparagoos stawck as well.
I’m a master of munching and yummiyums
But not twalking or nowing how to spell.
Filed under Poems
Twinkling blacktop ice
Gleams like diamonds. I turn right
But my car goes left.
Filed under Poems
“Nazi” is a word we say
When people think a certain way
That is different from what we
Are told the world’s supposed to be.
Filed under Poems
There once was a streaming station
Who aired a playoff game to the nation.
The broadcast was bad
And no one will be sad
If the ratings show as “Devastation.”
Filed under Poems
We played D&D
For nine hours today
So my brain is quite fried
And I hope it’s okay
That this poem is brief,
Just seven lines long.
“Why not eight?” you ask?
I think we should make the minimum wage
A million dollars an hour
So we could see the system collapse
And redefine the balance of power.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 