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Tag Archives: America
Modern Detox
If you’re in need of a business idea
I have a suggestion for you:
An apartment complex for people who want
To live like 1992.
The rent will be $500 a month
And the internet’s 10 sites or so,
Your neighbors are friendly, their kids play outside,
And Roseanne’s your favorite show.
A black Friday toaster is 25 cents
And so is a Big Mac with fries
And you can get Cracker Jack from Cracker Barrel
And it comes with an actual prize!
Phones have a wire, movies are physical
And they need to be rewound.
Nostalgia is hot. Spending money is not.
Does not this idea seem sound?
Filed under Poems
The Only Kong Will Be Donkey
Some people want no kings
But I don’t think that’s proper
‘Cause when I feel hungry
I want to eat a Whopper.
I like Californian sports teams
And extra-roomy beds,
Good poker hands and Aragorn
And Starks who are also Neds.
A bunch of schools will have to change
Their mascots. Other things
Will cause unexpected results
If we really have no kings.
Filed under Poems
We’ve Come A Long Way Since 867-5309
The upside of the “6-7” trend
Is that it may show the unheralded end
Of kids saying “420-69”
Which makes me feel better than fine.
Filed under Poems
No Change Is Good Change?
Thanks to a heroic protest
With an anti-monarchical request
I’m happy to say
That as of today
No kings have, our freedom, transgressed.
Filed under Poems
Congressional Privilege
So we can’t pay employees
Who keep on working hard
Despite a shut-down government
With a maxed-out credit card
And yet we pay the people
Who got us in this mess
With money that we do not have?
‘Murica, I guess…
Filed under Poems
No Really… What’s The Downside?
We finally did it!
We shut down the Feds!
We didn’t use violence
And lop off their heads;
We didn’t act cleverly
Nor were we strategic
We just let them keep spending
‘Til the budget went paraplegic.
The government shutdown
Is the start of new ways
If we can just keep it going
More than 35 days.
Filed under Poems
High School Science, 2025
Men are from Mars.
Women are from Venus.
Explain in 500 words
Why you should chop off your penis.
Filed under Poems
Share This With Anyone Who Disses Your Business Idea
Styrofoam peanuts
Plus some sugar and orange paint:
Still in business how?
Filed under Poems
News I Learned From Memes Interpreted As A Haiku Because Thursday
Trump’s on Epstein’s list.
Someone’s gun went boom too soon.
England’s a hellhole.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 