I saw the golden headlights
Driving towards me in the rain.
I heard the tires squealing
And the brake lines shout of pain.
I smelled the burning rubber
And sensed the car careening
As I changed my Facebook status
So my life could have some meaning.
Tag Archives: Driving
Barely Illegal
Going twenty-eight in a twenty zone
While casting glances at his phone
With his lap belt fastened but not his shoulder
And an open bottle of water in the holder.
He drove on through a yellow light.
He flashed no signal but still turned right.
He’s of a group of scofflaws such
Who’ll break the law, but not by much.
Filed under Poems
Disaster in Orange Grove, AKA The Justified Swerve
Two 18-wheelers,
Thirteen sedans,
Four snow-white horses,
And a biker named Hans:
That was the death toll
Today in Orange Grove
When I noticed a spider
On my leg as I drove.
Filed under Poems
But I mean Well
I’m the type of friend
That gets called at 3:00 AM
By a buddy in a ditch
Needing someone to help them.
I’m the type of friend
Who will drive a hundred miles
At 90 miles an hour
To see tears turn into smiles.
I’m the type of friend
Who hits pedestrians
Because I do not sleep.
Yep, I’m that type of friend.
Filed under Poems
Driving Home
Today I returned home from my vacation in Portland, OR. The following are a few poems I thought of over the six hour drive when I should have been avoiding pedestrians:
Feel free to tailgate my ass,
But the more you press, the less I gas.
The sooner I’m back
In Oregon
The sooner your drivers
I can deplore again.
Filed under Poems
Today I returned home from my vacation in Portland, OR. The following are a few poems I thought of over the six hour drive when I should have been avoiding pedestrians:
Feel free to tailgate my ass,
But the more you press, the less I gas.
The sooner I’m back
In Oregon
The sooner your drivers
I can deplore again.
Filed under Poems
Driver’s Ed Dropouts
Saw down a tree.
Chop it down with an ax.
Burn it, chainsaw it,
Send it anthrax.
There are lots of good ways
To get rid of a tree,
But hitting it with your car
Doesn’t sound smart to me.
Filed under Poems
Hit the Road
Her eyes were like headlights
Aglow in the rain.
Her lips were white lines
Guiding me into her lane.
Her body was the horizon
Towards which I would steer,
And her words said to me
“There’s no speed limit here.”
I pulled up beside her
And hoped I looked good,
Intending, I confess,
To get under her hood.
I subtly honked
As I pulled up beside her.
“What’s your name, darling?”
Then someone walked up beside her.
“She is Alexis,”
The newcomer smiled
In that very free way
That was driving me wild.
“And I’m her twin sister,
And my name is Portia.
We’d like to leave town,
But we don’t want to force ya’.”
And so we departed
From that little town,
Just me and two ladies
With the windows rolled down.
Some days you blow out,
Things don’t go like they should.
Other days, like today,
Life’s pretty darn good.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 