Tag Archives: Good Ideas

Bad With Names? Try This One Simple Trick That Oprah Said Is “No Comment”

If everyone in the entire world

Named their kids “Steve Penn”

We’d never have to sign our name

On anything again,

Never have an awkward moment

When you wake up in bed

With someone whose name you forgot…

Just say “Hey Steve” instead!

You’d never wear a name tag,

Never forget who wrote a play…

Everyone would win on Jeopardy

And movie credits would go away.

It’s such a great idea

That I hardly have to sell it,

Even though if everyone’s share’s the name

Baristas would still misspell it.

We would have an era of peace

If everyone were named “Steve Penn.”

That is, until people used middle names

And the chaos returned again…

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Still Cheaper Than Student Loan Forgiveness

Somebody ought to make a theme park

Inspired by loneliness

And they only let one person in at a time,

And that one guest

Who feels sad and miserable and alone

Gets to ride roller coasters

And skip all the lines

And there’s no trash or noise

Or dirty screaming little kids

And everyone is happy.

And other lonely people come

And they ride the roller coasters too

But they have to wait

And they’re hungry and tired

And everyone is miserable

And then they all leave

And the first guest feels good again

Because they appreciate how nice it is to be alone.

Then we repeat the process 7.5 billion times

And we have world peace.

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Robots of the Night

We’ve got robots to drive us,

To serve us, to vacuum,

To search the web, to save us

From our eventual fiery doom.

One robot no one’s thought of

That would really do a lot

Is a robot to replace the toilet paper roll.

Until then to the cupboard we’ll walk/squat.

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Daylight “Savings”

We lost one hour

When we got out of bed.

Next year let’s do it

On a Monday instead.

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