If you’re in the bathroom
And a minute passes by
You don’t even notice
That on the other side
The guy outside the bathroom
Has lived 100 years alone
In a near-death state while you
Read your email on your phone.
Tag Archives: Bathroom
TMI?
I wanted to let you know
I wrote this poem on the toilet.
I thought it best to keep it brief
In case that secret did spoil it.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Robots of the Night
We’ve got robots to drive us,
To serve us, to vacuum,
To search the web, to save us
From our eventual fiery doom.
One robot no one’s thought of
That would really do a lot
Is a robot to replace the toilet paper roll.
Until then to the cupboard we’ll walk/squat.
Filed under Poems
A Few Good Runs
I eat a plum
To celebrate
A happy day,
Successful date,
A win at work,
A good night’s sleep,
Looking at a woman
Without seeming like a creep.
I’ve been succeeding
In lots of ways,
And I’ll be out of the bathroom
One of these days…
Filed under Poems
The Bathrooms Are Clean In Seattle
There was moisture on
The toilet seat.
Somebody had to
Take the heat
For failing to properly
Aim their piss.
We blamed the Minnesotan,
‘Cause when it counts, they miss.
A Table By The Men’s Room
Our eyes joined as one
Across the smoky hall.
Your heartbeat grew faster
And you let out a call.
I stood and approached,
So graceful and tall.
You thought of love,
And I of nature’s call.
Filed under Poems
Why Is The Seat Still Damp?
Have you heard of zen archery,
Where you shoot straight and narrow
By using all your strength of will
Until you become the arrow?
I used that logic on my roommate
And got him really pissed.
Alas, he’s no zen archer
‘Cause somehow he still missed.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 