Tag Archives: War

Their Legacy Lives On

The upside of old soldiers

In the abs and armor era

Having kids when they were 15

Is that they’d ensure they’d share a

Portion of their DNA

Despite dying in war

Because the guys who choose the front lines

Were rarely 24.

As a result, some children

Are descendants of the guys

Who ran headfirst into battle

Despite their lackluster size,

Their lack of wealth or breeding,

Their dearth of brawn or brain,

Exhibiting no hesitance

For their inevitable pain.

A dozen generations passed

And still their genes live on,

Ensuring the survival

Of their service-minded spawn.

My only wish is that these offspring

With mind and courage of a beast

Would stop running for office

(Or stop winning, at least).

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Military/Zoological Complex (See Also… Polar Bears, Chihuahuas, Those #%^*ing Moths In The Bathroom At Night… I Can Go On)

The fact that we’ve been through how many wars

And nobody’s realized yet

That dropping skunks is way cheaper than dropping bombs

Shows just how dumb humans can get.

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The Ants Go Marching

Do you recall what made you say

“There has to be another way”?

The moment when you burned yourself

Or windows fell and shattered?

Do you recall when you were scared

And learned that no one near you cared

And poured yourself some bottom-shelf

And figured out what mattered?

Remember when your throat was parched,

Your ankle turned, your body arched,

And when your dirty face cried out

The world put earbuds in?

If you recall, it’s time to be

A solo army, strong and free.

If you don’t, then have no doubt

These things will soon begin.

The world may not recall your name

Even if you win the game,

But when you count the victories

You get to choose your score.

So will you choose to recollect

A world of passive disconnect

Or will you solve the mysteries,

Wake up, and join the war?

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Just Like Being A Real General, But Without The Pay

All of those violent video games…

The ones with the Nazis and guns…

Are thought by most people as harmless,

Just mindless and gory and fun.

They think they’re just one simulation

Of engaging in conquest and war

Where a kid can sit down for an evening

And proceed to, the whole world, ignore.

But when you grow up you realize

And begin to see children who stare

At a screen sending soldiers to slaughter

With less than a whiff of a care

And you realize with eyes open wider

And a hint of an older man’s sorrow:

They’re not corrupting the youth after all:

They’re training the kings of tomorrow.

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Ballad Of The First Dude In The Epic War Sequence Who Gets Shot And Falls From A High Place Just Before The Soundtrack Starts

There once was a warrior from Lo

Who’d a habit of stubbing his toe.

He could not help but feel

‘Twas his Achilles heel…

But nope! He died by arrow.

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Burning Flags

Many a child was inspired by a flag

To leave home on a bus and return in a bag,

To struggle and clash with another boy who

Was raised by a flag without red, white, or blue.

It may be a purpose to live under fire

Until you return or in glory expire,

But I seek a purpose where no flags will fly

And a world where no child is inspired to die.

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Tyranny Bugs Me

There they were, two armies,

One in black and one in red

Swarming from their anthill

Knowing one must soon be dead.

One was sponsored by Les Schwab Tires,

The other by Steve’s Work Pants.

One army shouted “We will be victorious!”

The other screamed “Death to tire ants!”

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Things That Lasted Waaay Too Long

First there was Vietnam

Then the second gulf war…

Now I’m curious how many years

The Amber Heard trial goes for.

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One Upside To WW III

In a positive twist on current events,

It seems the number of incidents

Of accidental gunshots dropped

When everybody suddenly stopped

Tolerating anything Russian,

Which apparently included pushing

A swift end to games of Russian Roulette.

So hey! Take what good news you get!

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Something Worth Fighting

Captain Daniel Anderson

Stood before the 3rd infantry

And called out, “Men, a moment!

“We’ll soon meet destiny.

“Be brave! Be bold! Remember

“That we served each other well.

“Now on we go to victory

“Or tonight we’ll dine in Hell!”

Well Captain Daniel Anderson

And the 3rd infantry fought

With tooth and nail, but doomed to fail;

Their efforts came to naught.

So once again he called out

“We did all that we could do.”

Then they sat for dinner

At a party thrown by you.

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