When the robots start a war
It won’t be any fun,
But I can safely predict the final score
Will be zero to one.
Tag Archives: War
Their Legacy Lives On
The upside of old soldiers
In the abs and armor era
Having kids when they were 15
Is that they’d ensure they’d share a
Portion of their DNA
Despite dying in war
Because the guys who choose the front lines
Were rarely 24.
As a result, some children
Are descendants of the guys
Who ran headfirst into battle
Despite their lackluster size,
Their lack of wealth or breeding,
Their dearth of brawn or brain,
Exhibiting no hesitance
For their inevitable pain.
A dozen generations passed
And still their genes live on,
Ensuring the survival
Of their service-minded spawn.
My only wish is that these offspring
With mind and courage of a beast
Would stop running for office
(Or stop winning, at least).
Filed under Poems
Military/Zoological Complex (See Also… Polar Bears, Chihuahuas, Those #%^*ing Moths In The Bathroom At Night… I Can Go On)
The fact that we’ve been through how many wars
And nobody’s realized yet
That dropping skunks is way cheaper than dropping bombs
Shows just how dumb humans can get.
Filed under Poems
The Ants Go Marching
Do you recall what made you say
“There has to be another way”?
The moment when you burned yourself
Or windows fell and shattered?
Do you recall when you were scared
And learned that no one near you cared
And poured yourself some bottom-shelf
And figured out what mattered?
Remember when your throat was parched,
Your ankle turned, your body arched,
And when your dirty face cried out
The world put earbuds in?
If you recall, it’s time to be
A solo army, strong and free.
If you don’t, then have no doubt
These things will soon begin.
The world may not recall your name
Even if you win the game,
But when you count the victories
You get to choose your score.
So will you choose to recollect
A world of passive disconnect
Or will you solve the mysteries,
Wake up, and join the war?
Filed under Poems
Just Like Being A Real General, But Without The Pay
All of those violent video games…
The ones with the Nazis and guns…
Are thought by most people as harmless,
Just mindless and gory and fun.
They think they’re just one simulation
Of engaging in conquest and war
Where a kid can sit down for an evening
And proceed to, the whole world, ignore.
But when you grow up you realize
And begin to see children who stare
At a screen sending soldiers to slaughter
With less than a whiff of a care
And you realize with eyes open wider
And a hint of an older man’s sorrow:
They’re not corrupting the youth after all:
They’re training the kings of tomorrow.
Filed under Poems
Ballad Of The First Dude In The Epic War Sequence Who Gets Shot And Falls From A High Place Just Before The Soundtrack Starts
There once was a warrior from Lo
Who’d a habit of stubbing his toe.
He could not help but feel
‘Twas his Achilles heel…
But nope! He died by arrow.
Filed under Poems
Burning Flags
Many a child was inspired by a flag
To leave home on a bus and return in a bag,
To struggle and clash with another boy who
Was raised by a flag without red, white, or blue.
It may be a purpose to live under fire
Until you return or in glory expire,
But I seek a purpose where no flags will fly
And a world where no child is inspired to die.
Filed under Poems
Tyranny Bugs Me
There they were, two armies,
One in black and one in red
Swarming from their anthill
Knowing one must soon be dead.
One was sponsored by Les Schwab Tires,
The other by Steve’s Work Pants.
One army shouted “We will be victorious!”
The other screamed “Death to tire ants!”
Filed under Poems
Things That Lasted Waaay Too Long
First there was Vietnam
Then the second gulf war…
Now I’m curious how many years
The Amber Heard trial goes for.
Filed under Poems
One Upside To WW III
In a positive twist on current events,
It seems the number of incidents
Of accidental gunshots dropped
When everybody suddenly stopped
Tolerating anything Russian,
Which apparently included pushing
A swift end to games of Russian Roulette.
So hey! Take what good news you get!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 