If you think a Banshee’s scream is bad
You have never heard
The scream of the mythical Banthey
When one’s been misgendered.
Tag Archives: LGBTQ…
Portland Rap
I asked a tranny dude if he wanted to fight,
‘Cause I figured “He ain’t got the balls, amiright?”
He said “No,” which is fine, but it got really weird
When his girlfriend came forward and I stepped on her beard.
I was going to write seven more verses, but I think you get the point…
Filed under Poems
Proof That Cutting Your Dick Off Is Heroic
When a guy decides he’d rather be female
And undergoes surgery, then
I think they become the most powerful mutants
Because, after all, they’re ex-men.
Filed under Poems
9/10 University Professors Think This Acronym Is Invalid…
If you’re like me and I’m like you
You hear a lot about LGBTQ,
Perhaps even about BIPOC,
But never about SPWCOV.
Now it’s important to tolerate
Those who are gay, lesbian, trans,
And those who are bisexual
And whatever it is for which “Q” stands,
It’s important to have empathy
And remember the plights
Of those who are indigenous
And all the other non-whites,
And women deserve a mention
So the feminists can’t fine us…
But what about the Straight People
Without Color Or Vaginas?
Filed under Poems
LGBTQ, Not 10JQKA
I like to play poker with drag queens
‘Cause whenever they draw an ace
You know right away
‘Cause you know what they say:
They struggle to keep a straight face.
Filed under Poems
In Case You’d Forgotten
Back in the Western USA
In 1800 somethin’
A couple cowboys realized
Their hearts, they were a thumpin’.
The cowboys had been life long friends
And though they both were male
They rode to Brokeback Mountain
And they gave up on the trail.
Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-yodel-addle-ee!
Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-odel-sodomy!
We used to have some cowboys
To protect our town from raids,
But now we have to check
Our cowboy guardians for AIDS!
They use to be quick to the draw
But now they have more fun
With the sheathing than the drawing
Of their aforementioned gun!
Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-yodel-addle-ee!
Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-odel-sodomy!
One cowboy found his saddle’s
Grown less comfortable with time. He
Found this was the case
Unless their romance they would stymie.
But the cowboys needed horses
Like they found they needed lasses
And they replaced their ponies
With one another’s (whoaaa!)
Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-yodel-addle-ee!
Yodel-oodle-yodel-adle-odel-sodomy!
Yodel
Oodle
Yodel
Adel
Odel
Soooooooo…
Doooooooo…
Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Support For The 58* Genders?
If you’ve got a gender
And that gender is Agender
Than an Agender gender
Is the gender that you’ve got,
But if you think non-cis is nonsense
And you don’t buy into bi
Then things which you are thinking
May be different than you thought.
There’s a rift between androgyny,
Pangender folks, and the FTM.
You may think that there’s no difference
Between trans-males and trans-men,
Or that trans-ness is divided
Down the trans-two-gender line
When in fact the trans-varieties
Number nearly twenty-nine!
If your creed denies this credence
You’ll be supported a few more years,
But if the “miss” in “miscelaneous”
Offends you, have no fears;
If you identify as other
But don’t like “other” as your name
Then nonconforming, variant, or non-binary
Are semi-synonyms for you to claim.
And if you want to carve your identity
In history’s hallowed halls
Invent your own custom gender now.
(May I suggest: No-balls?)
And make the list grow larger
Than the current 58
And you can show the establishment
That you don’t want America to again be great!
*Subject to change
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 