People are outraged that Cracker Barrel
Made its logo more generic.
As long as they keep the peg game
I’ll refrain from being choleric.
Tag Archives: Life
When Counting Your Blessings Doesn’t Work, Try Counting Your Absences
Everyone in the world
Should get a chihuahua
From the government, totally free
Because when they all die
We’ll all understand
How much better life is when dog-free.
Filed under Poems
Sincerely, Educated White Dudes
I’m not much of a gangster
And I’m not a street-smart guy
So can anyone enlighten me
How so much gets you high?
For example, bath salts
And keyboard cleaner cans
Made someone want to sniff them
And promptly earned their bans…
Who are the people purchasing
And sniffing random goods
To see if something in them
Makes them feel different moods?
And if it’s not trial and error
But some scientific knowledge
That tells you what’s worth selling
On the street to pay for college
Then why aren’t people using
This backroom chemical expertise
To make it so the methheads
Can unabashedly say “cheese”?
Filed under Poems
The Future Is Now
I write an essay for my class
Using ChatGPT.
The AI-checker software says
It was written by me.
But I write a post on Facebook
That includes the phrase, “The Jews”
And I get called a Russian bot
And scolded on the news.
Filed under Poems
Karaoke
Somewhere in Japan
Somebody hired a band
But the singer didn’t show up for the thing
So the others hatched a plan
That the world considered grand:
They’d make the audience get up and sing.
The result, as you’d expect
Was not a pretty song
But a bunch of office workers all off-key.
The band all stood erect
As everything went wrong
And now this is a favorite globally.
Filed under Poems
Girls Just LOVE Exfoliating
My forehead is sunburnt
And peeling a bit.
My wife, for some reason,
Is playing with it,
Peeling my flesh off
With childish glee
And I love that I found someone
Weirder than me.
Filed under Poems
There Can Only Be One…
If you ever feel inferior
Be glad it’s not your fate
To be one of the walls in China
That never will be great.
Filed under Poems
Haiku for my Sister-In-Law
I have zero friends
Because other people suck
And I’m funnier
Filed under Poems
When You Think Of A Tongue Twister, But Have To Justify It With Some Kind Of Narrative ‘Cause You Write A Poetry Blog, Not A Tongue-Twister Channel
I remember being baffled
When I was a little tyke
Because the little axolotls
Looked an awful lot alike
And the axolotl likeness
Made me trip over my tongue;
“A lot of little axolotls look a lot alike”
Is hard to say when you are young.
Filed under Poems
Perfectionism
Sunny Summer day
Fluffy clouds and gentle breeze
Now I’m way too tan
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 