There once was a clock on a wrist
That one day became rather pissed.
It said “Time isn’t real,
“So how does that feel?”
Now it is for sale on Craigslist.
Tag Archives: Limerick
Confessions of a Former Spelling Bee Champion
There once was a guy named Kibau
Who lived on a farm with a plough.
He once swore a vow
Never once to say “Ciao”
And you get the point: Spelling is stupid.
Filed under Poems
Frustration is the Catalyst of Many Verbal Quirks
There once was an eloquent person
Whose mental state started to worsen.
The person was me
As you damn well can see
And that’s why I’m just f***ing cursin’.
Filed under Poems
Twilight Isn’t The Only Pacific Northwest Love Story
There once was a fellow from Sequim
And a gal who was quite into him
She said “I’m from Snoqualmie
“So why don’t you call me?”
This could be only in Warshington.
Filed under Poems
Sir Alec Guinness, Ladies and Gents
There once was a guy named Obi
Whose surname was, weirdly, Kenobi.
Then this kid came along…
“Do you know Obi-Wan?”
And he was like “Of course I know me!”
—————————————————————
There once was a trooper, unnamed,
Who sought droids with data untamed,
But Obi’s like “Pu-lease!
“You ain’t looking for these.”
Only later trooper thought “I got gamed.”
—————————————————————
There one was a giant black guy
Who had a death star in the sky.
Obi met him one day
And was like “Ani! Hey!”
And then Obi-Wan’s like, “Guess I’ll die.”
Filed under Poems
In Local News: Dick Trenchcoat Still At Large
I once was in love with a dame
Who, for privacy’s sake, I won’t name.
When I undressed, she shouted,
Which I think is undoubted
Why I had to leave the park. Lame!
Filed under Poems
IT 2021
There once was a bug in my code
And my whole computer it slowed,
But I’ve learned from the biz
To just sell it as is
Then charge more for a fast-working mode.
Filed under Poems
The FBI Limerick
There once was a [redacted] from [redacted]
Who really [redacted] with [redacted].
He [redacted] one day
In a [redacted] way
And [redacted] [redacted] his anus.
Filed under Poems
When You Really Want To Do An Epic Rhyme But The Setup Is Bananas
There was a grammarian from Crimea
Who had a friend, Timmy Nadia.
Timmy N said “Gimme an
“Crimean simian”
And the grammarian said, “It’s ‘give me a.'”
Filed under Poems
Actual MCU Pitch Meeting, Featuring Greek Food
There one was a film about heroes
That didn’t gross quite enough zeroes.
Disney said, “Make it funny
“And we’ll make way more money,”
Then the CEO ordered some gyros.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 