There once was a small stoic duck
Who, alas, had run out of luck.
But he soon hatched a plan
And oh boy and oh man!
Tag Archives: Limerick
When You Break The 11th Commandment
There once was a womxn from Berkeley
Who acted rashly and berserkly.
Zhe drove a non-hybrid car
To an all-vegan bar.
These micro-aggressions were carried out jerkily.
Filed under Poems
Dear Washington…
Those who take the roles
Of conducting political polls
Should receive an MD
In proctology
For their research in helping assholes.
Filed under Poems
Female Sexuality And Privilege In The Fruit-Curing Industry
If I were to pick a peck of pickled peppers
Peter Piper’d have a bone to pick with me?
But if I gave Ol’ Pete a peck
He’d want to bone, ’cause “what the heck”
And I needn’t pay the Piper… He’d pay me!
Filed under Poems
Oh Sheet…
I started a band where we’d play
Stuff other folks played first. OK?
Then I did discover
Such a band’s called a Cover,
And thus I named our band “Duvet.”
Filed under Poems
A Poet Has Needs
One thing about which I’m keen is
To write a bad poem about Venus.
That’s not really true…
I just wanted to
Justify ending a poem with “penis.”
Filed under Poems
…Until The Courtyard In Question Turns Thirty, The Biological Clock Kicks In, And It Settles For The Secure-But-Unexciting Wall
I was a brick wall. So secure
There was nothing I could not endure,
Yet, while I’m safe in a fire
She wanted barbed wire
‘Cause “Barbed Wire is hotter for sure.”
Filed under Poems
Las Story Es Mucho True
If you’re in Puerto Rico
And don’t know how to speako
Know this: The inglés
Is not spoke in the place
And they’ll probably think you’re a freako.
Filed under Poems
Shucka-Shucka-Sucka! (Shucks?)
I once knew a Moroccan
Who thought that I was shockin’.
I gave him a shake
To see what sound he’d make
And he said “That’s a maraca, dumbass!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 