Once, a guy ordered a steak
But the chef’s credentials were fake.
He said “Blood means its yummy.
“Raw is good for your tummy.”
And now that’s just what people make.
Tag Archives: Limerick
The Only Difference Is One Candidate Was Convicted
There once was a hush-money trial
That went on for quite a while.
The jury used their melon
And decided he’s a felon
But he’ll still win votes with a smile.
Filed under Poems
But They Gave You Two Choices!
Once some Spartans got bored
And one of them grabbed a sword.
They said “We can stab you
“Or instead spear you too”
And thus democracy was restored.
Filed under Poems
Sort Of A Sh**y Contract…
There once was an immortal deity
Who in a moment of gaiety
Said “Make them eat every day
“And then poop it away”
And angels sighed and said “So may it be.”
Filed under Poems
What Was His Angle?
There once was a man born in Samos
Whose math teacher told him to vamoose.
He said “Bitch, I’m Pythagoras!”
Then proceeded to stagger us
With the theorem to measure a hypotenuse.
Filed under Poems
My Sanctuary City Poem
Una vez hubo un copo de nieve cerca de ti.
Podrían ser homosexuales o judíos.
Envíales esta publicación
Como un asado sutil
Porque eso es lo que te pedí que hicieras.
Filed under Poems
The Whistleblower’s Poem
There once was a worker from Spain
Who manufactured a plane.
He said “This door’s for Boeing.
“Please don’t ask why it’s glowing.”
They said “Sure”, and then cut the cocaine.
Filed under Poems
If Greta Thunberg Were Black
There once was a bigass windmill
That stood on a bigass hill.
A bigass gust of wind
Made the bigass fan spinned
So why I still got a power bill?
Filed under Poems
We All Know A Group Like This…
There once was a five minute break
Between 8:30 and 8:37.
It was twelve minutes long
Until cake came along
And we all reconvened at 11:00
Filed under Poems
Mrs. Doubtfire, Or Your Girl’s High School Sports Team?
There once was a comedy movie
About a guy who loved kids, and for proof he
Dressed up like a girl
And changed some kid’s world
And everyone said that it’s groovy.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 